I used to have a few different blogs for each facet of me. There was the Mommy one and The Soapbox and The Sex and another one for reviews of books I’d read and stuff I’d watched or listened to. It felt rather ridiculous to have such a divisive representation of myself as a person, so I said fuck that and started this blog. I mixed the parenting with the political and talked about things I liked as a person…well, if you want to be specific, a woman. Like, sex.
It seemed like if you were a Mom who blogged than you had to have a lot of tender, touching lessons and thoughts on motherhood with some “edgy” Sometimes I don’t like my kids! I’m a bad mommy! confessions…and that was about it .If a blogging mommy wrote about sex, it had to be tempered with a lot of humor to make it reader palatable and it helped if she included the word vagina a lot because that shit is fun-neeee. It couldn’t be too kinky or graphic and god forbid you have naked pictures that shows how babies are made for real. I also noticed from my own readers that they LOVED the opportunity to talk about real sex but way,way too many were embarrassed and uncomfortable to talk about it,even if they wanted to. Grown- ass women who had already done the deed many times and squeezed babies out their vaginas as evidence.
So, I decided to not sanitize the sex here on this blog and included erotica and naked people and even porny gifs of blow jobs and outright fucking. I just thought some women needed to have access to sex positive “porn”.
But then…feedback from other people not so interested in the sex bits but interested in other things I have to say mentioned how off-putting it was to navigate around the blog or come back for updates and see porn that they didn’t really want to see.
As much as my immediate reaction might have been, “But sex is normal! Rawr rawr rawr! ” , I understand that some of these people had a point. I felt bad when one woman said that she would have liked her church group to participate in the SNAP Challenge but felt that it was inappropriate to direct people to the blog with so many things others might feel offensive. She thankfully was speaking only about the sex related stuff and not things pertaining to rape,sexuality,or abortion.
Then over the weekend, a high school teacher emailed me to tell me that he had taught a unit on nutrition and poverty and three of his students had cited my blog as a source. He just thought I’d like to know. I really had to concede then that maybe the sex and the nudity belongs elsewhere. Yeah, high schoolers need to know what real sex and naked people are like but their teachers and parents shouldn’t have to worry about the finding it while looking for information about how poor people eat in America. When I write about important issues here, the last thing I want to do is alienate someone because I felt it necessary to make a point about societal views about sex and nudity. I think it’s important to still explore and discuss and maybe just look at sex and naked people but not here.
So, I started a blog on tumblr just for The Sex. It will be a mix of sex,sexuality, & relationship information, body & gender issues,kink,erotica, and sex positive porn. It’s NSFW or for viewing with small children or easily offended people in the room with you. Those of you who want to, have at it and enjoy.