Telling kids not to do that thing you don’t want them to do doesn’t always work

I feel like I’ve told this story a million times ,so if you’ve heard it, ignore me…
When my mother was 6, she nearly shot her 3 yr old brother in the head with my Grandpa’s gun. It’s a story that I heard a lot growing up..partly because the bullet hole was left in the wall and people would be like, “Um, is that a bullet hole in the wall?” ,so it would start conversations. It was a seriously close call. My other uncle who was 5 at the time says he remembered his little brother moving just at the right moment and there on the wall where his head had been just a second before was a bullet hole.

My Grandpa was on the police force at the time but he had always had guns. His method of instructing his 5 children on anything was pretty much, “Don’t touch that!” or “It’s none of your goddamned business!”. Obviously, not super effective when it came to handling a gun or anything else, really.

Things have probably changed quite a bit among gun owners but a lot of this still hangs around. “Don’t touch that because I said so.”, might be the most instruction a kid gets on gun safety or (eve worse), “Just point at your target and pull the trigger, now.” Not to say at all that all gun owners take this approach. We have guns in our house and this is exactly the opposite of how we handle the topic. My personal belief is that a child has no business ever handling a gun, let alone owning one.

I don’t want to pigeonhold certain types of people and generalizing their actions, but I tend to believe (much of this based from what I’ve seen of people) that if a person is the kind of parent who doesn’t take the time to address a huge safety issue such as what to do with a gun, they aren’t going to talk about other important things with them either.

Like ,for instance, sex. They might say, “Don’t do that because I said so.”

This unfortunately does not only apply to gun owners who can’t talk about gun safety. People who don’t own guns falter on this topic,too. Basically, no one is perfect,especially once they’re a parent and the only absolute in parenting is that you really do not have absolute control over the actions of your children, no matter how good of a job you’re doing.

Teenagers are kind of known for 1) not doing what they’re told all the time and 2) being hornier than that one dinosaur with the predominant neck frill with lots of  spikes sticking out this way and that (Styrosaurus. That’s it’s name. I think)

And even if you do tell them more than that and explain all the consequences and precautions and advise them to wait until that magical moment when they’re with their smoochy-muffin  and the rain ends and a rainbow appears just as  My Chemical Romance’s “Demolition Lovers” starts playing on the i-pod through shared earbuds…and they just KNOW it’s So very,very right….’

even if you tell them all the stuff a good sex-ed program should…about birth control and responsibility and all of that – they still might have sex. And they might forget the part of birth control OR like many adults, their birth control failed and they need to fix the situation before it becomes a baby. They might need emergency contraception. They might feel embarrassed to tell you they not only fucked but fucked up. They should be able to go get the help they need before they have to say, “Oh,hey… hold my hand while I have an abortion? Or baby,maybe?”.

Then there’s a whole other piece that people are not talking about at all and that is the connection between sexual abuse and teen pregnancy. Girls who are sexually abused are 5 times more likely to end up pregnant as a teenager. 20% of all teen pregnancies are a direct result of rape. Statistics are grayer when it comes to determining the exact amount of teen pregnancies that are a result of sexual abuse and not consensual sex because of their reluctance to report. 60% of teen pregnancies were preceded by rape,molestation or attempted rape. There is a  huge connection here that is ignored. Teen pregnancies are not just caused by careless sex. These girls who are victims  need to know that there is a backup plan for them to protect themselves from an unwanted pregnancy after an attack and access to it should not be prevented, regardless of if the girl chooses to report or not report the abuse or attack.

I think gun control and birth control are perfect companions for discussing side by side. The GOP wants gun owners to be the only ones in control of guns, and is ok with a 5 year old owning a gun .It seems like they also sort of want all the control over sex and female bodies. Does that really seem like a good idea? Because honestly, they aren’t managing the gun part too well these days. It doesn’t seem quite right they should have rights over uterine activities,too.That doesn’t seem too beneficial to society. Actually, no political party should have a right over the human body, whether it has a uterus or not.  Age really shouldn’t be an issue. If she is able to conceive, she should be able to decide if she wants something growing in her uterus. Uteruses are not political domain. Guns ,on the other hand….

well…we’ll talk about that another time.

OPEN THREAD: What are your thoughts on Common Core?

I honestly have been a little bit out of the loop and just trying to get myself informed about Common Core State Standards Initiative now. I figured it was time since there are parents boycotting locally and both liberal & conservative bloggers and pundits have started to pick the topic up and discuss it.

So, what do you know about Common Core (if anything) and what are your opinions about it?

Awesome Person: Aamira Fetuga

This is Aamira Fetuga. She’s an 8 year old in Tennessee who had a few questions for Sen Stacey Campfield.

A little background here …

Senator Campfield proposed a welfare bill that would reduce benefits to families if a child had poor school performance and required parents to attend parent teacher conferences. He said that the parents of failing children were guilty of child abuse and should be punished. In gentler language, he said the bill was in the interest of encouraging children to do better in school and break the cycle of poverty. Harsh or gentle language, his proposal was legalized class warfare. If his true concern was for holding parents accountable for their child’s school performance, those not below the poverty line would not be the only ones targeted.

My reaction when I first heard about this bill a few months ago was exactly the same as Jon Stewart’s.

(which can only mean he should hire me immediately to be a writer for the show)

I’ve been trying to think like a Conservative on the issue. It’s not as hard for me as you might think. I was raised by Conservatives. It gives me a unique skill and perspective . I’m pretty good at deciphering some of their crazier ways of thinking. But this one? I got nothin’. Even Republicans thought it was stupid, so it wasn’t just me.

Now back to Aamira’s role in this…

At a visit to the Capitol building , Aamira greeted the Senator and asked ,“Why do you want to cut benefits for people?”. Senator Campfield talked over Aamira at her adult escorts, “I love when people use children as props!”. When he did directly address Aamira, he told her that if a child has decent parents, they have nothing to worry about.  Children can control whether or not they have decent parents now,I guess. (Also, I think the term “decent parents” is wide open for interpretation).  Aamira was persistent and followed him throughout the Capitol, even after cameras stopped filming.

You can watch the interaction here:

After all this, Sen Campfield withdrew the bill, stating that he now recognized that it targeted certain “groups”  (but really, I’m pretty sure it was mostly because he didn’t want to look bad AND even Republicans thought he was fucking crazy).

Aamira’s activism paid off. Yes, Aamira’s activism. I don’t believe she was used as a prop or a ply to gain publicity for the cause.  I believe she sincerely wanted to be a voice for this issue. Children can be activists. It’s isn’t always motivated by an adult putting the kid up to something. My own children and I talk about current events all the time, on different levels and details depending on their development. There’s been any a time they’ve gotten out their lemonade stand equipment to raise money for some cause they felt passionate about after we discussed it or asked to go help out or be involved in a community project. THEY initiated it, I stood in the background and supported it.

The bottom line here: This was a stupid bill and this little girl stopped it from happening.

There are more excellent words about Aamira here: And A Child Will Lead Us

 

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To see all I’ve ever said here about hunger,food insecurity ,poverty, and living on food stamps,  go here.

“We would win more hearts & minds if we were kale-ing more people”

The point of this video is to talk about how the U.S. drone strikes aren’t killing who they’re supposed to be killing but Lee Camp inserts a nice bit I appreciate in the spirit of “Food Not Bombs!”.

We should totally be kale-ing people.

Damn, we women just can’t win

I know a few women who are adamantly  against abortion but are also incredibly pro-active about supporting women who chose to continue their pregnancy & have a baby despite whatever challenges it brings to her and her family’s life. I have a lot of respect for these women . I have zero use for the opinions and regressive activism of pro-life people who can only toss out judgment and not offer support or solutions.

It would also be refreshing to see some of this dialogue aimed at men involved in these situations. Women have a 50% share in the conception of a child. They shouldn’t have 100% of the burden of blame and bullshit that goes with it.

 

And this… via Dion,the Socialist 

I don’t have sex.
Patriarchy: Prude.
I have sex.
Patriarchy: Slut.
I have safe sex.
Patriarchy: Prude and slut at the same time.
I got pregnant from having unprotected sex.
Patriarchy: Dumbass slut.
I got an abortion.
Patriarchy: Baby killer.
I had the kid.
Patriarchy: Welfare queen.
I got married, then had sex, then had a kid.
Patriarchy: K, but we’ll pay you less and blame you for being a mother.
I got married, then had sex, and became a full time mother.
Patriarchy: You’re a welfare queen too.
I got married, then had sex, then worked at the same time.
Patriarchy: You’re a terrible mother, and don’t ask us for help with daycare. Get back in the kitchen.
I don’t care what you think.
Patriarchy: What a bitch.
What the fuck can I do to make you happy, patriarchy?
Patriarchy: lol what a doormat.

[Feminist Friday] Do I call myself a feminist or not?

I struggle with calling myself a feminist these days. I’ve never liked using labels for myself because I feel like once you start doing that, you’re letting other people who also use that particular label define you, regardless of whether they are on the same page as you on the theories and beliefs. Like, if I did believe in God, I’m not sure I could call myself a Christian. Have you listened to some of the people who call themselves a Christian? I would not want to be lumped in with them. When you use a label to define you, others will be speaking for you whether you want them to or not.

I didn’t always feel this way about calling myself a feminist,though. I don’t know what’s changed. It could be that my worldview has expanded because of the Internet and the interactions I have online. Maybe the ideals behind feminism have changed and I haven’t changed with it. Maybe I’m just getting old.  Whatever the reason is, I have felt the need to redefine my belief system to just be more of a simply basic egalitarian desire for equality for all. That term needs to encompass women under it’s umbrella…even though I strongly feel there still needs to be deeper vigilance and empowerment for women.

I’m concerned that the term “feminist” makes me cringe lately. That when a woman defines herself as a feminist I am automatically on my guard until I know what she’s about. I don’t want to vilify feminism. There are feminist women I absolutely adore,admire,respect , and wholeheartedly agree with. There just seem to be more these days  that I do not feel that way about.

There’s a reader of this blog who sends me hate emails. Annoying ,right? I hate that I even have to give the person more than  a few sentences .She is a woman who calls herself a feminist but does not think I should call myself a feminist. I can’t take any “feminist” seriously who explains to another woman what feminism is or isn’t and disallows the woman permission from using the word for herself if that what she chooses to do.As bell hooks said, “Feminism is for everybody.” You don’t get to exclude those you don’t want in the club,sister.

This is actually something I have noticed a lot of and that’s a huge issue for me. Feminists hate mansplaining like a gun nut hates Obama but some of them do it all the fucking time to other women. Most of the women who do this come from a place of privilege and inexperience. It’s extremely aggravating to have a heteronormative  upper-middle class single woman with no children tell you how wrong you are about issues regarding poor, LGBT mothers when you ARE a poor, LGBT mother. Or a woman who has never been raped explain to you why rape happens and how you should feel about the rape culture.  Just to give a couple examples.

There are women who have become known as “feminist authorities” and “a voice for feminists.” These are the women writers and commentators who other women who call themselves feminists refer to for current feminist theory. There is a great deal of hive mind activity happening here. There isn’t a lot of thinking outside of these theories and if there is, damn…you better watch out. Conform or be cast out, ladies.  Not only is there not much variance on mindset but the issues being discussed are a great deal of drivel and relatively  inconsequential to empowering all women.

Back to my hater. One of the feminist writers she likes to quote is Ariel Levy. One day I stated on Facebook that I have a history of not being able to connect with other women and typically get along better with men. So, she sent me this:  

Aww, I like all the pink and the flowers to indicate that it’s all feminine and girly. That’s sweet.

Really,though…

I don’t fit into a lot of the stereotypes that apply to women and I’m uncomfortable with them. I am very feminine,however. I mean, I love being a woman and embrace motherhood as a sacred thing and I almost never wear pants but I hate the color pink and diamonds and shopping and getting flowers  and all that “girly” shit. I’m not attacking women who like those things. I just can’t relate to them. That’s how it is. If a woman likes wearing thrift store finds  and drinking beer while watching Firefly or Star Wars, then she and I are going to get along fabulously. And women like the latter description…women like me? They totally exist and they are every bit a woman as much as the ones who like the girly things.

To me, it’s a rather anti-feminist thing to tell women how they are supposed to feel about other women and how they are supposed to behave in their gender role. I read Ariel Levy’s book Female Chauvinist Pig (as did my toddler ) and while she has a few points I can agree with, overall I felt like some prudish woman was shaking her finger at women and saying,”Now,now,girls. Real women don’t get down on their knees to give head or dress like a slut.”

Dictating how women should dress and how they should feel about and  use their bodies. Oh…isn’t that part of…patriarchy? Huh.

There’s a lot of this going on in feminism. Along with that, the exclusion of certain women is very frustrating to me. Women of color, women in poverty,mothers and  LGBT women (especially trans women) , and women in the sex industry  are particularly disregarded and overlooked. There is a whole group of feminists who are very anti-motherhood and are incredibly condescending and disrespectful to women who choose motherhood. Within the feminist voices, there may be women who “speak for” these most often excluded women but when they do so, they’re doing it in a paternalistic manner which states, “I know what’s best for these women and they should love me for trying to empower them.” There’s little empowerment in their statements . Most of the time ,they are very far removed from the reality of the issues these women face and quite frankly, don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

I’ve encountered feminists a lot in recent years who are supposed advocates for other women but when having a discussion with a woman who belongs to the subset they are supposedly advocating for, they do this thing I can only describe as “pulling rank”. They disregard the woman’s personal experiences and only want to talk about what they think they already know based on what they’ve read or learned in a classroom. When confronted about their condescending attitude, they throw out their education or professional title as a reason why they are absolutely right and should be regarded as so, even though they have no experience.

This isn’t what feminism is supposed to be about. It’s really sad that I feel like I spend most of my time not defending feminism to those who don’t think we need feminism anymore ,but instead explaining how feminism is supposed to work to those who claim to represent it.  I’ve called myself a feminist since I was 14. I’m 40 years old now. You goddamn feminists  make me pretty fucking sad that something that has been such a part of me is now something I have to question whether or not I can call myself anymore. Good job,bitches.

Yeah, that’s right. I called ya’ll bitches. It’s a word that some women have chosen to take back. And you know what? Like some of the words we reclaim that are used to misrepresent us as women, I’m reclaiming one word: Feminism.

Oh, I don’t look like what YOU think a feminist should be? Go fuck yourself.

Wrap Up: 2.4.13 – 2.9.13

The best of this past week

Good Reads

Hey, Let’s Not Slut-Shame Beyonce For Her Super Bowl Outfit -the post-halftime show commentary made me stabby. Beyonce can wear whatever the hell she wants,ok? You don’t have to watch it and you don’t have to let your kids watch it. I mean, if you don’t object to your kid watching NFL cheerleaders and overly sexualized commercials , why would you care about Beyonce’s attire? She looked fabulous anyway. AND no wardrobe malfunctions!

Super Bowl is Single Largest Human Trafficking Incident in the US – last year there were awareness campaigns about this everyone around the time of the Super Bowl. I saw none this year. If peole want something to be upset about, it should be this and not sexist & racist commercials or halftime performances.

Things That Piss Me Off Tuesday -Look! She’s pissed off about the same shit that I am…sex trafficking,VAWA,assholes with guns and stuff

Mississippi’s Last Abortion Clinic To Close Soon - Because of the lack of real sex ed in that state, it also has astronomical unplanned and teen pregnancy rates (not to mention STDs). So this…not surprising but definitely a disservice to women in that state

The Evolution of a Blogger Part 1 & Part 2 - “You will blog. And it will eat your time. And you will like it. For free. “ This pretty much sums it up for me.

Fast Food One Night Stand - So, I haven’t eaten fast food in over 10 years but I occasionally get these cravings and I know that if these cravings coincided with me being in proximity of a fast food joint, this would absolutely be me, start to finish.

Clitoris: A Feel Good Story About A Touchy Subject- This is just all sorts of awesome. Do you know the Super Bowl commercial that bugged me the most? Nope, wasn’t the Go Daddy one. It was the Kia “Space Babies” one. I hate it when people can’t talk to their kids about anatomy or sex. Hate it. It’s not cute. It’s stupid & makes me cry. In short, when your kids want to know about lady boners, lay it out there like this.

Marriage,bigotry, and cheese - Cheese making is used to break down the marriage equality issue. Yeah, I know…sounds out there but it’s brilliant. It also helps give perspective on the bigotry.

Till He Takes A Wife - Beautifully posed ponderings on what a mama’s future relationship will look like with her sons as they grow. My oldest son is 23. He has had some struggles the past couple of years that have left me frustrated and sad….sometimes angry (at him,myself, society…whatever) . Still, he told me the other day that he still feels like I’m his lifeline and the only one constant person in his life. I don’t know if this is good or bad. My Faux-Hubby feels that I should have “cut those apron strings” a little sooner but then to think that this young man would be floundering about at a hard part of life without feeling like there’s someone who cares and loves him…I think it’s ok that we’re still so close.

If World War 1 Was A Bar Fight – for history geeks with a sense of humor

The One Where I Talk About Lube A Whole Lot - I’m not sure why but people ask me a lot of questions about lube. I think this will be the post I refer them to from now on. Great tips and excellent links.

Open Letter To The Boy Scouts – A mom tells the BSA how it is to be living here in the year 2013. Catch up, guys.

i LIKE being different!- A 12-yr old girl with Asergers highlights what it’s like to be an Aspie

Dads Don’t Babysit, They PARENT -  All the enlightened Dads who read this blog are like, “Well, no shit!” but you know…some people don’t quite get this yet. This deals a lot with the sexism involved with the statement.

There’s a post on sex work on Feministe and it is Teh Fail -A fantastic response to  Supporting Sex Workers’ Rights, Opposing the Buying of Sex.  On a  related sidenote, I recently unsubscribed from all the collective feminist blogs such a Feministe for my own sanity. I feel like the women who are the prevalent writers on feminist culture are coming from a place of not just privilege but inexperience and I have a hard time relating to their voices much of the time. Sure, they get it “right” sometimes but more often than not, I’m irritated and annoyed.

The Thinking Mans Vagina Podcast -The Thinking Man’s Vagina podcast. Where we ponder gender and social issues with the integrity, intelligence, and parlor-style zest of a thinking man. Listen to it. You’ll like it,I promise

Men: 8 Surprising Reasons You Should Get A Sex Toy -All good reasons, plus a chance to win a Sexier Life Gift Pack, 

Kids Challenging Gender Barriers, One Pair Of Batman Undies At A Time- It’s amazing to me how a thing such as little girls wanting to wear Star Wars underwear can open up such a complex debate. I have a solution to the issue,though. Instead of waiting for large manufacturers to cater to the need for this niche (and probably using unethical work place practices to do so), you can either make your own undies or hire someone on Etsy to do it for you. You can find both patterns and great kids underwear there (as well as sellers who would be willing to do custom orders)

Sex Addiction is BS -sounds about right

The Rise of the Short Story - A new blog series dedicated to exploring the short story  and its current renaissance.  To that end – all during the month of February some of my favorite bloggers and podcasters will stop by to tell us why they love (or hate) short stories, why they think they’re back into vogue and to (of course!) recommend some of their favorites.

Geekgasms

50 Things for the 50th – a wishlist for the 50th Anniversary of Dr Who. Some are totally geekgasm worthy. #38…bring back Jenny. Now,this is a little embarrassing but I have a whole entry in my drafts about how Georgia Moffett needs her own Dr Who spin off based around the character of Jenny. And I say it’s embarrassing because if you all read it,then you will see how much thought I’ve put into this (WAY too much) and  truly know what a ridiculous Whovian I am. Yes, Whovian. Term embraced.

Equality in sexy book reading achieved with Naked Guys Reading Lovecraft” – I’ll take sex and gender equality any way I can get it

Fictional Boys We Want To Date (who would be really awful boyfriends) -Well, I’m not sure I thought about exactly dating some of these guys, exactly. And these are exactly the reasons they make better fictional sex fantasies then boyfriends.

 

 

A woman called upon to mother can choose to refrain

I was angry last week. Enraged to the point of shaking kind of angry. It was about abortion. Not my abortion, scheduled to begin on Thursday the 24th but other women’s abortions.I was angry about the women who had died and left living children motherless because they wanted an abortion and couldn’t have one safely. I was angry about the callous assholes who didn’t give a shit about dead women or orphans, just about a fetus. I was angry about the babies in the world who need parents and the parents who have babies who can’t feed them…and that no one gives a shit about them,either. Just the fetuses. I was angry about the stigmas and the hate women who have abortions face. I was angry that so many women have to go through something so huge all alone.

I’m still angry and it won’t ever go away.

Last week I had an abortion. Like more than half the women in America who have an abortion, I am already a mother. Like those other women, choosing to terminate a pregnancy was part of motherhood. Those who demonize women who choose this want you to believe that no woman who has ever had a baby she loved and cared for would ever choose abortion. If she does, she must be a bad mother. On the contrary,like any decision a good mother makes, she was doing what was best for the stability and well being of the family she has already. It’s a monumental act of matriarchal goodness.

I wanted to talk about this openly, like I would with other women about other “womens issues”. I wanted to break down the stigmas. I found fabulous women who felt the same as I do who have been in the same situation but more often, I was disappointed to find that talking about my abortion made even women who refer to themselves as “100% pro choice!”  uncomfortable. To their credit, they were all polite and the only slightly odd comment that was made was , “Really, what was one more kid?”

What was one more kid, since I already have 6? The question posed made it sound like babies are china dolls that sit on a display shelf . You take them down periodically to admire their delicate features and smile lovingly at them and put them back where they’re safe from breaking. They don’t need fed and the clothes they require came with them in the box. They take up a little space but not much and they offer no inconveniences except for the occasional dusting. The other dolls on the shelf aren’t ever told, “I’ll take you to get new glasses next month…after I pay for your sister’s dental bill and buy your brothers new boots.” or that they can’t have second helpings until everyone else has eaten. Yes. What’s one more?

To their credit, they ask me if I’m ok, how I’m feeling….if I’m depressed ,sad or feeling regrets. I feel none of that. Post-abortion, I’m mad at my own body for being ridiculously fertile and defying the odds of biology & birth control. I’m sad that I can’t give this thing of abundant fertility to women who would see it a blessing instead of a curse. Mostly, I’m grateful. Overwhelmingly grateful. I’m grateful for Sarah Weddington and Roe vs Wade. I’m grateful for Planned Parenthood and their amazing staff. I’m grateful for a supportive partner who took care of me both physically and emotionally. I’m grateful the abortion was less traumatizing physically than the miscarriage I had years ago. I’m grateful I’m not dead and I can continue to be a mother to the amazing lives I already am responsible for.

But I’m still angry,too. If there’s a woman out there who can’t talk about her abortion because she’s afraid of being judged and condemned, don’t worry. I’m here to be angry for you.

[blog title from "Amendment" by Ani DiFranco]

And if men can kill and be decorated
Instead of blamed
Then a woman called upon to mother
Can choose to refrain

5 Things I Decided I Hate

You know, I’ve tried to cultivate this “Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate” mentality and that’s still good and all but I like balance in my life. So today, I will share with you some recent loathings.

1. Vaginal Ultrasounds - Have you ever had one of these,ladies? They use a “wand” that is actually a dildo they insert in your vagina and take an ultrasound of your inner workings. Your cervix is a voyeuristic peephole into all that goes on in your uterus and such. The first time I had one done, the clinician was literally in and out. Like a dipstick. Maybe a little longer than that but it was over before I knew it. Last week I had one and afterward I felt like the clinician should have at least offered to buy me dinner. She was a fabulously nice clinician but sloooooooooow as hell. There is nothing more awkward than having someone wiggle something that looks like a dildo around in your pussy while they’re also fiddling with a computer and attending to various beeps and buzzes. There was a clock on the wall. I timed how long it took. 10 minutes. More than enough time for me to get off under normal circumstances. I suppose that would have been even more awkward to have requested that as a bonus for taking so damn long. 
2. Facebook & Twitter Statuses that are actually memes or quotes from around the internet - My hate for this started with that Facebook app Status Shuffle a couple years ago. It was (maybe still is) this thing you could use to make an interesting Facebook status. Funny witticisms,quotes…. you know…things that are now made into memes and ecards. Now it makes even less sense for people to actually take the time to TYPE a one liner into their status box instead of just sharing a fucking meme with the words on it. I get the idea some people who do this would like people to think they came up with these witty quips all on their own. Right. Because all of your friends on Facebook haven’t seen the same thing a dozen other places on the Internet. They only go to your page and are living in isolation on the web. Besides, most people who do this aren’t fooling anyone, even if we haven’t seen it a zillion other times elsewhere. We all know you’re not that clever/smart/funny/.
   

   All of the above. But mostly, STOP using things like this as your Facebook status in the hopes something thought you were clever enough to come up with it on your own

3.  Erotica with the Word “Sin” in the Title –  It’s amazing how angry this made me this week. I don’t believe in sin. It’s a theological concept that isn’t in any belief system I have.  I understand the concept,though and that’s why when I see it applied in a sexual context, it really pisses me off. Sex is awesome,healthy,normal and good stuff. If your religious beliefs label sexual proclivities as sinful, then that’s just appalling to me. There’s no sin in sex and I’m not interested in reading erotica (even if it’s well written) that has to attach such a concept to sex. I get that the word is alluring to some. Some people feel like doing something “sinful” is an act of rebellion …that it makes them some sort of badass to do or think about this forbidden thing but ugh…that’s all bullshit. All you get afterwards is a case of guilt instead of the afterglow of a good fuck.
4. The Under-Recognition of Sarah Weddington - Who, right? Yeah. Roe vs Wade ring any bells? She was the lawyer who successfully argued and won the case. Pretty fucking monumental,right?  It’s sad that OJ Simpson’s lawyers got famous off that court case but this woman is an unknown.

5.  Winter in NY - well, this isn’t a new revelation but I do feel like re-sharing. It hasn’t made it higher than 10 degrees this week. My laundry room pipes are frozen and I’m fucking cold. 

[The Daily Five] Five Favorite Feminist Blogs

Say that five times fast.

There’s some great  blogs related to feminism out there. Here are five of them.

1. No Longer Quivering- Truthfully, I don’t know how Vyckie Garrison, the founder of No Longer Quivering , feels about the feminist label but I consider her work that she has done to be incredibly empowering to women.  The site is described as “a gathering place for women escaping and healing from spiritual abuse.” , in particular women who have been living  within the Quiverfull movement . The contributions to this projects include some well crafted writing with a lot of heartbreak and insight. These are strong women sharing amazing stories but also help open the dialogue about the relationship between male-dominated religious movement and misogynist treatment & abuse toward women.     
2. Feminist Frequency : Conversations with Pop Culture - Pop culture most definitely influences societal views on how we view others and Anita Sarkeesian is on the ball with a feminist / fangirl perspective . Recently Anita presented a 10 minute talk  this year’s TEDxWomen in Washington, DC  about sexist online harassment, cyber mobs and both the destructive and uplifting power of online communities. If you ever find yourself wondering why it’s important to talk about such things….TED had to disable comments on Anita’s video because of …wait for it….  yep – misogynistic online harassment.
3. The Radical Housewife – So many times I read a post at The Radical Housewife and it’s exactly the same stuff that’s going on in my head, though she says it so much better and with less swearing than I usually manage. This week, I especially felt that my sentiments were well echoed by her post on the death of Kassandra Perkins.
4. Erin Matson - Ok, I honestly only just discovered Erin Matson’s blog today. Like, an hour ago. I like what I read so far. I love this piece on being a Pregnant Pro-Choice Lady.
5. Guerrilla Mom - “Former free-wheeling, joke-telling, drink slinging, artist. Current obsessive compulsive mommy. Eternal feminist.” She’s my kind of people. And FUNNY….oh my gods…SO funny.

That’s all for this week.