[Food Stamp Food] Food Stamped

Food Stamped documents Shira & Yoav Potash’s challenge to feed themselves on a food stamp budget. This has been on my To Watch list since it came out but my library just got a copy of it last week. I was the first one to check it out!  Woot. So, I watched the library’s virginal copy last night.

Shira is a nutrition educator who teaches families how to eat well within a food stamp budget, as well as children. I used to do something similar in a program with Head Start families. It was that experience, as well as working with children in my own daycare ,that helped me to understand one of the key pieces to helping people eat well when they’re living on limited resources. It all has to do with education. I encountered a lot of families who had never made anything that didn’t come in a box or a can. I worked with children who could not identify common vegetables. Even a potato, despite french fries being a  staple of their diet. And really, this education is not just needed for poor people. This applied to every economic class.3D-DVD-cover

When I started this food stamp series here on this blog, I had a mission and that was very basically, to prove that you CAN eat healthy on a food stamp budget. It’s certainly become  diversified and I feel like I haven’t focused on things that need to be discussed in depth ( for example  I have over 3,000 words sitting in my drafts folder just about junk food and the complexities of why we should/shouldn’t prohibit certain items from being purchased on SNAP and why the current political climate isn’t going to allow change to happen anyway and why. It needs to be put out there but it needs edited so people don’t fall asleep reading it) . Overall though, this is still my main objective . This was also the basic premise Shira set out to explore :Can you eat healthy on a food stamp budget?

First of all, the amount Shira & Yoav worked with is quite a bit less than most food stamp challenges you read about. The amount they allowed was about $1 per meal for one week. Realistically, this is more accurate than the $35/week amount most challenges (even mine!) work with. This has been hotly debated both here and on my Facebook page before. I also moderate a private group online for food stamp recipients and no one receives this amount of $35/person. Right now, we receive $20/person per week and that seems to be about the norm.

The film showed both Shira and Yoav’s grocery shopping trip and also the grocery shopping trip of a food stamp recipient. Whereas Shira & Yoav’s objective was to eat healthy, the food stamp recipient represented the Standard American Diet.

I took notes while watching and compared how we shop to both:

Shira & Yoav’s Grocery List

  • One thing that can’t be reflected in just a week challenge is the staple items you might buy that will last a whole month. Like for me, vinegar & baking soda are essentials because I also use them for cleaning …and along with the oil they purchased, they could have had salad dressing. Also flour…they could have made bread themselves.
  • During the summer months when we have good access to free produce thanks to the Veterans’ Sanctuary Farm and garden shares, we have a little bit more flexibility to buy the more expensive things like coconut oil. I think the jar of coconut oil I have right now was bought in September and I use it for many things (even making deodorant). It was$9 ,so not a purchase that could be made when I have no flexibility
  • They showed very well how every purchase requires forethought and how much planning needs to happen.During discussions of living within a food stamp budget, the critics will always scoff and point out that SNAP stands for SUPPLEMENTAL blah blah…. that the program isn’t designed to fund a recipient’s entire meal plan. This is where education of the general public fails and the disconnect with those people and the reality of living on food stamps. For most people, that is absolutely all there food budget is and for some, food stamps is the ONLY income they have.
  • I was happy to see that they supplemented with a little dumpster diving (for bread). Depending on  the city, there are some organizations who will collect all the perishable food from the supermarkets and distribute to those in need, so you don’t have to dumpster dive.
  • Yes, we eat a lot of beans,too. Not always organic,though.
  • I buy coffee. It’s not ethical coffee and I consider it my “sin item”. One of these days, I’ll quit it.

Richard (SNAP Recipient)

  • we do buy ramen,too but we throw the nasty flavor packets out (MSG makes me ill and my  kids don’t need it either).We just add spices and herbs to season. I joke that my Faux-Hubby should write a ramen cookbook because of the diverse dishes he can make with ramen noodles. We always add veggies..sometimes meat. The veggies aren’t always fresh .
  • Meat is always the first thing axed from the budget to allow for produce
  • Richard is type 2 diabetic (like my own dear Faux-Hubby) and admits that his diet isn’t what his doctor would recommend. I know from living w/ someone who doesn’t follow the best eating plan for a diabetic that it can be really hard to break out of the habits,even if you do know better.

They also visit a damn good food pantry. Here in my very small town, the food pantry very rarely has fresh produce. Actually, we don’t use the food pantry because most of what they offer is processed , pre-packaged foods. Obviously, if we were not making do within our food stamp budget, I’d have no problem accepting the food if I had to in order to feed my family but it’s not what I choose to feed them normally. It’s a last resort for me. However, we have accepted food from The Friendship Donation Network, which is one of those organizations I mentioned before that collect perishable food  from supermarkets,restaurants, and caterers and distribute.

Other than the actual experience of food shopping & cooking within the parameters of a limited budget, Food Stamped very thoroughly covers the basics of the hunger in America, the food stamp program itself , the political factors affecting poverty in America , the obstacles poor people face in accessing healthy food, and (hallelujah!) the relationship of The Farm Bill to SNAP. Shira & Yoav Potash did an excellent job at presenting the information that everyone should know, whether they are a critic of  SNAP, a concerned citizen who would like an activist role to play in food security, or a food stamp recipient. Rep Jim McGovern (remember him from the other day’s post?) and other politicians also appear to offer their input on why hunger is how it is and what should be done. As McGovern says, “Hunger is a political condition. We have all the resources, we have all the knowledge…we have everything we need to solve it. What we don’t have it political will.”  I often feel that if  citizens were better informed on the issues, there would be more of a push to affect change and more pressure put on politicians to change the broken system.

The harsher of my own critics who have followed the food stamp series here are the kind of people who could benefit the most from seeing all this information in one piece. I always feel so frustrated after watching a good documentary because I feel like the people who need the information the most will never take it upon themselves to watch it ,or if they do, they do so with their ingrained mindsets firmly planted and closed to receiving info that could even slightly alter their view. My local grassroots organization Back to Democracy hosts public viewings of documentaries on many topics and it’s always the same people who attend. People who already have an inkling on the subject matter and already would have a leaning to not only be receptive to any information learned but also be inspired to take action towards changing things.

As my friend Jennelle just said, “What annoys me more is people who should see a particular documentary and not only do they *not* see it, but then they comment on it like they’ve seen it when they’ve only vicariously seen it through whatever bullshit they’ve heard about it in the media.” It’s SO true. I know I’m an altruistic dreamer but I really wish people could just be open to receive information purely and unfettered,without preconceived notions and bullshit clouding how they process it and exactly what Jennelle said…. be willing to get the information themselves instead of being fed what they know from other sources.

So, see it or don’t but of all the information out there, this is one excellent resource to get the fundamental idea of the issues that affect those living on food stamps

Gee

I used to do this weekly thing on my ex-blog – The Letter of the Week. Having my youngest child in pre-school has inspired me to bring it back here on this blog.
In kiddo’s class, they have a new letter every week and for sharing time. Kids are supposed to bring in things that begin with that letter. When I brainstorm with him about what he can take to school that day to share, I almost never come up with something kid-appropriate or of any interest or relate-able to a pre-schooler. For instance, this week’s letter in kiddo’s preschool : M. What do I think of first? Menstrual pads. Followed by masturbation. And no, I assure you…I did not share these suggestions out loud.

As it is, we have the hardest time remembering to grab something that starts with the letter of the week as I’m racing out the door. Yesterday, he remembered about half-way there and was upset that he had nothing to share. I put my quick-thinking cap on, looking around for anything on me or alongside the sidewalk that would fit. “Mittens! You have mittens on. Share those.” Today? “Mouth! You can say you brought your mouth with you for sharing!”.

Half-way through the school year, I should be better at this.

Anyway… I’m re-introducing The Letter of the Week here. This week’s letter isn’t the same as my little spawnling’s. The Letter of the Week here is G.

The Grammys

I’m not a fan of awards shows but I still pay a little bit of attention to what goes on at them anyway, even if I do think that most of the time the winners are undeserving & overrated. This year’s Grammys, the only category I cared about was Contemporary Folk. Neko Case (reminder: major girl-crush of mine, I want to have her baby) was nominated. Of course, Neko Case also lost, which just confirms: The Grammys are stupid.

← Isn’t she adorable, here on the red carpet?

She’s quoted as saying of her first Grammy experience :

“Well, I’m really excited in an anthropology kind of way. It’s nice to see what humans do in this situation. It’s such a canonized event and I’ve been watching it my whole life. I’m overwhelmed and very excited to be here obviously, but I don’t know what to make of it yet. I’m so country mouse.”

I  did see that Loretta Lynn was given a Lifetime Achievement Award this year, well-deserved. I grew up with Loretta and she remains one of those women I admire & look up to. As her daughter  said accepting the award, “”Peggy and I always said she didn’t open doors, she kicked them off the hinges. “  Awesome.

Girlhood -

Netflix said, “If you like The Wire, you’ll like Girlhood”. I took their word for it  and checked it out from the library (oh,yes…I’m a rebel, even with my Netflix recommendations. Queue? Who needs a queue when you have a library card? )

Girlhood follows two girls in the juvenile detention system in Baltimore, both inside lock-up and on the outside. Shanae stabbed and killed another girl when she was 12. Megan, raised by a single-mother constantly in and out of prison for drug & prostitution charges, is in the system for assault & running away from foster homes. Both girls stories are full of pain & dysfunction, yet their outcome lays with their attitudes and their own ability to see how they can change & be a good person.

For me, Shanae’s story is the most powerful. This girl was raised in a house with parents who were there and yet somehow, she ended up with the wrong crowd.  She lost her virginity at 10, was gang-raped & pregnant at 11 and at 12, committed murder. It took Shanae years to accept responsibility for her actions and understand the depth of what she did. Yet, with the remorse & the realization, came the desire to be more than her crime – to be seen as a person who is good inside and not let her past actions define her. Despite everything and overwhelming diversity, she shines & triumphs.

Megan on the other hand, sees that she is a victim caught in the loop of her family’s perpetual cycle  and that her only hope is to break free of it. Still, her attitude is self-destructive & keeps her from achieving the goal  – or at least makes the struggle to get there harder & longer.

You can see the whole documentary in 9 parts on You Tube, if you’re more inclined to watch on the web than be a rebel with a library card.

Great Garden (Book) Giveaways

You Grow Girl’s Grow Great Grub giveaway and  Kiss My Aster’s Grocery Gardening giveaway

(Now you see why G was a good letter for this week?)

For the Grow Great Grub giveaway, simply leave a comment w/ a link to a picture or post about something that’s inspiring to you for your own edible garden this year. The Grocery Gardening giveaway is a bit more creative – you must kill a poinsettia, creatively, of course and document said killing.

Guns

Last episode of  This American Life I listened to was about Guns .

The aim of this episode was to bridge the chasm between Americans who love their guns and those who hate them – and let me tell you, it can be one wide, gaping canyon. I have learned that ,as a woman who everyone perceives as being very liberal, when I share my own personal views on guns, it sometimes creates a huge gap in my relationship w/ a person who before may have felt like I was a kindred spirit. Others process the information more logically and explain it to themselves, like, “OH, so she’s a Libertarian.”. It helps some people to sort it out, putting a political label on it. I’m not exactly a Libertarian, just as I can’t identify completely as a Democrat.  Most though, who are adamantly opposed to guns, can’t wrap their brain around my pro-2nd amendment stance  in light of my other political & social views.

Act 1 in this episode of This American Life sums up perfectly my relationship when younger with my own Grandfather, who was my only father-figure growing up. Sarah Vowell shares her own relationship guns and her dad, a Republican-voting gunsmith in Montana. Like Sarah, I was raised around guns and wow, did I hate them when I was a teenager. Appalled, would be a better word. The heated arguments in our house between us centered around politics, religion, the way I dressed and guns.

Still, even as I grew older , I had this respect for guns, even if I didn’t want to own one right then. I saw the value, as a tool.  The entire past decade ,I’ve lived with guns in my own home ,comfortably. Surprisingly, comfortable – considering how vehemently opposed I was to all guns 20 years ago. The girl comes around…

GMOs

I’ll be blunt here: GMOS need to GTFO of our food supply and stop trying to control it.  I’m hell-bent on becoming a crazed seed-hoarder , just like those who hoard guns & amass huge weapons caches in shacks in Montana.  What GMOs do to our food supply is frightening. Monsanto is an evil corporation that needs to be stopped now.

If you have no idea what I’m rambling about, check out Say No to GMOs! for a primer and  watch this movie  about the evil deeds of Monsanto.  There’s also mention of Monsanto & GMOs in Food Inc, King Corn, The Future of Food and a slew of other excellent documentaries.

The Germinatrix’s Aloe Climax

Go to An Aloe Climax – the Huntington in Bloom to see more .They’re a whoreticulturist’s wet dream come true.

Gisele and her “Super” Homebirth

Gisele Bundchen reveled that she gave birth in the bathtub. Like many women who homebirth do. I love that she gave birth in the tub at home. Homebirthing is awesome.  My annoyance? Well first, it was the commentary by stupid ,shallow celeb blogs that referred to it as  unusual, strange,weird and downright bizarre. Then it was the fact that those comments were followed by commentary on how awesome she looks even after birth. THEN, it was the “Move Over Ricki Lake, Homebirthing has a New “Super” Spokesmodel” attitude.

What the fuck,society? Why do you need a supermodel to show you how wonderful & beautiful homebirthing in your own bathtub is? Pamela Anderson did it. Kate Winslet did it. Ricki Lake did it. LOTS of women do this.  A model does it and we’re all supposed to be in awe?

Don’t get me wrong – like I said it’s awesome but home birth was awesome before Gisele did it,too.

I also don’t think because one ‘supermodel” (I loathe that term) did it, we’re going to see the trend of  vanity c-sections drop drastically. Would be nice but I don’t think it’s going to happen like that.

Geek Details

Not only is the Geek Details shop fabulous but I’m loving what Amanda is doing with her Decoratively Challenged house. Frugal, DIY , beautiful re-designs – check it on the blog

Greenwashing the Lorax

Lorax speaks for coal now , not the trees.  Ranks up there with blasphemy.

My 2 Cents For Free: The Garden

In the aftermath of The La Riots , the city of Los Angeles  gave the citizens of South Central LA a piece of property as a healing gesture. The land was to be used for a community garden, in the heart of the inner city. For 12 years, about 350 families farmed the 14 acres of land, making it a jewel in urban America – the largest urban garden anywhere in the US.Then quite suddenly, The Garden residents  were ordered to vacate the property. The original owner, through what can only be describes as suspicious political dealings, had bought the land back and wanted the farmers ..and the farm…off the land. He intended to use the land “as it was intended” – to develop the property & build warehouses.

The Garden documents the community’s struggle to keep the land that they had devoted so much time & energy into for 12 years.  The land fed their families, taught their children the value of community ,nature & self-sufficiency. In a community of all low income families, primarily Latino, the garden is what kept them from slipping farther into poverty, maintaining themselves on food they proudly grew themselves.  Not only it is a struggle for the land, it’s a struggle against greed,racism, dishonest politics & classism. The citizens also must deal with conflicts among themselves, as they try to sort out the anger that’s bound to result from one man & a city telling them that a piece of property is worth more than they are.

Intensely emotional to watch (or maybe only if your a rabid dirt-loving, real- food loving hormonal pregnant woman), The Garden is inspiring & infuriating all at once. The cause of The Garden was supported by some celebrity faces, who appear briefly in the film – most notably to me (since he’s one of my many Pretend Boyfriends) -  Zach de la Rocha  ,at a benefit concert organized to raise funds for the farmers to buy the land outright themselves.

A must-watch film for anyone concerned with sustainable food supply & urban farming, especially for low income families .

What if God was one of us ….Just a slob like one of us

Links I Saved Because I Didn’t Have Time To Read Them Until Now

[Burger King's Square Booty Call] I don’t have TV ,so I miss the lunacy of bad commercials. That’s what the internet is for. “Is the ad offensive, goofy, or just really effing bizarre?” I’m going to go with ,”Effing bizarre”.

[From Pro-Life Feminist to Pro-Choice ] Cate Nelson shares how her views as a Pro-Life feminist who shifted her views to the Pro-Choice angle. Sensible,articulate and much appreciated by myself, a feminist who values and respects life but holds choice as a sacred right.

[The Feminist Summer Reading List] If nothing else, I will make a point to read Mrs Dalloway this summer. I have 3 copies of the book,taunting me,unread. My intention was to read that and then The Hours by Michael Cunnngham. We’ll see what happens.

[Modern Hooker comics] online comic about..well, duh…a Modern Hooker.

[Fuck Yeah Cilantro] “IF YOU DON’T LOVE CILANTRO WITH ALL YOUR HEART I WILL FIGHT YOU.NO JOKE” . I’m down with that.  My apologies to Cilantro Haters who get that soapy taste in their mouth whenever they eat this rather swell herb. Maybe if you didn’t have such a dirty fucking mouth, Mother Nature wouldn’t feel the need to punish you.Ever think of that?

[Rainn Wilson bongos with Rivers Cuomo] covering Joan Osbourne’s “What if God Was One of Us”

[The Printz Project] I swore off  reading challenges but I’m  joining  this one. It’s a perpetual challenge so no time constraints…and they’re  books I’d probably want to read anyway. Meh,why not?

["My Mother's Garden"] Interview & video clip with documentary filmmaker Cynthia Lester about her new documentary about her mother’s hoarding disorder and mental illness. SO heart-wrenching & mind-boggling.

[blog title from "One of Us", Joan Osbourne]

Oh, what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son? Oh, what'll you do now, my darling young one?

10 songs from the weekend

I wish I had time to do the links for all of them but I don’t have much time this morning. Just did this quick like.

  1. “Hard Rain is Gonna Fall”, Bob Dylan -I used to sing this to my son when he was a baby. This weekend he turned 19 and this morning left for that whole bicycling across the country shenanigans . It seemed like a good song to be replaying.
  2. “Teach your Children Well” , Crosby Still Nash you,who are on the road….
  3. “Hard-Headed Woman”, Wanda Jackson – my poor dear husband puts up with so much nonsense from me
  4. “Hard Headed Woman”, Cat Stevens – aforementioned husband must fall into this category, gods and goddesses bless him ….Im looking for a hard headed woman,
    One who will make me feel so good,
    And if I find my hard headed woman,
    I know my life will be as it should
  5. “Sex Bomb” , Spinnerette I can’t mention nearly enough how much I want to have Brody Dalle’s baby
  6. ‘Song for Bob Dylan” ,David Bowie Oh, hear this Robert Zimmerman
    I wrote a song for you
    About a strange young man
    called Dylan
    With a voice like sand and glue
    His words of truthful vengeance
    They could pin us to the floor
    Brought a few more people on
    And put the fear in a whole lot more

  7. “Queen Bee”, Devendra Banhart And I’m blessed, she treats me so damn kind
    She’s grown every seed I’ve grown
    She’s known everything I’ve known
    And my dreams they always coincide
    And bows always float in time
    And oh queen bee, I’m always happy to see
  8. “This Is How You Spell. “HAHAHA, We Destroyed the Hopes and Dreams of a Generation of Faux-Romantics”, Los Campesinos
  9. “Danger,High Voltage!, Electric Six - Fire in the disco, fire in the…Taco Bell! (my kids….they think I’m insane when I yell this out randomly. “No,Mom…it’s PANIC at the Disco,duh. “. I’m gonna start a band and call it Panic! @ The Taco Bell (Because it’s on Fire!) . Just because I can.
  10. “Darling Nikki”, Foo Fighters

————————————————————————————————————

Monday Movie Meme

This week: Documentaries. Favorites. List ‘em.

  1. When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts
  2. Be Good ,Smile Pretty
  3. Be Here To Love Me- Townes van Zandt documentary.
  4. Heavy Metal in Baghdad – I wonder how those guys are doing sometimes….
  5. Nanking
  6. Sierra Leonne All-Stars – proff that there’s a lot of healing power in music
  7. What Would Jesus Buy? – yeah, he wouldn’t shop at Wal-mart but that’s kind of common sense.
  8. Winged Migration – beautiful movie to veg to
  9. Helvetica – because I’m a dork
  10. Born into Brothels
  11. Wal-mart: The High Cost of Low Price
  12. King Corn

…and my time is up.

[blog title from #1 on the list]

Jupiter doesn't have cable or satellite….

….but she has a library card and a Netflix account.

Netflix

Margot at the Wedding

Kid 1:Mom,I forbid you to watch this movie.It is way too weird.

Me:What’s wrong with it? Why is it weird?

Kid 1: It’s just…weird. It’s really….weird. It has all this weird stuff in it and weird things. It’s weird.

(Maybe this isn’t a good time to mention this but Kid #1 is an English major in college.)

He really should have known that once I’m “forbidden” to do something,than I MUST do it. That’s how I roll.

After watching it, I can honestly say, he was right…it is weird. For me to say something is weird, that’s saying something.Margot (Nicole Kidman) is visiting her sister Pauline (Jennifer Jason Leigh) ,who is marrying Jack Black. The acting was wonderful, with Nicole Kidman doing wonderfully as the kind of meddlesome know-it-all bitch we all know in real life and can’t stand. The movie is riddled with tons of sexual tension in places it doesn’t seem to belong and there’s awkward unexplained events that aren’t funny,just weird. Margot and her sister are chatting about a non-present sister “Becky” and say “Poor Becky..she had it the worst. of it…and then raped by the horse trainer!” Then Margot and Pauline both laugh hysterically,like it’s the funniest thing ever. I expected that the reason this is funny to be explained to some degree at some point in the movie and it never was. I still can’t figure out why that was so funny.

Also during this chat, Pauline tells Margot’s son Claude that Margot was so cool n college and used to send her cool music,.like X.Sorry,but there is no way Margot was ever into listening to X.

And what is with Margot’skid’s random statement to her in the middle of a parking lot,”I masturbated last night.” Okie dokie then.

——————————————————————————-

Charlie Bartlett – If I were to make this movie,i’d take away the shine and polish and give it a “Pump Up The Volume” edge (which i thinks it was kind of trying to be) and maybe throw in some “Heathers” flair.

“Holy crap…THAT’S Tyler Hilton? He’s hot.” -Me

Sometimes it takes a fauxhawk and some leather to help see hotness factor.

THAT girl….that’s who should be playing Bella! Not the other girl! I should do casting” -Kid#3

——————————————————————————-

Heavy Metal in Baghdad – Those kids down the street who play mediocre music need to watch this. They don’t know how good they got it, practicing in a heated carriage house in back of the guitar player’s rich daddy doctor’s house. No worries about rockets coming through the side and flattening your practice space (or them) or bombs falling on one of your shows or a slew of other things they completely take for granted when they cover Metallica.

———————————————————————

Shark Week! Season 1! Disc ! – with follow up trip to Wegmans to see a real Mako shark!

“What is this? This is boring.I don’t want to hear about some shipwreck.I want to see sharks!Eating people.”-Kid 1

Narrator: The Phillipine Sea is home to some of the world’s most dangerous sharks

Kid #3: Dang.I was thinking of going on vacation there.

Library Card

The Munsters,Season 1,Disc 1:

The pilot episode is included and starts out the disc. In color and no Yvonne DeCarlo, the original treatment lacked a lot .Favorite Episode: Rock-a-bye Munster ,where Lily custom orders the hearse-dragster combo that becomes The Munster Coach and eavesdrops on Lily and Marilyn and misunderstands the snipets heard and thinks there’s a new baby arriving,not a car. Herman’s reaction to what he think is his new son – hysterical.

“Hey,the little boy Elmer was played by Peter Robbins,who also was the voice of Charlie Brown. ” – Me, asserting my title as Queen of Useless Trivia.The children were unimpressed

“Mom,it isn’t THAT funny” – Kid #2

(It was. What does she know. She thinks Pete Wentz is like,the best bass player ever.)

————————————————————————

21

True-ish enough story about kids at MIT who go to Vegas to count cards and take home lots of money. Like Rainman ,but with Kevin Spacey masterminding instead of Tom Cruise and non-autistic kids who were smart enough to get into MIT. I am easily annoyed by over-voiced narration that sounds like it was written by a scripwriter who also writes college commencement speeches “It was the time of our lives…blah blah blah”

Kate Bosworth is so damn cute. It’s really ridiculous. Enough  with that already.

—————————————————————————

Finding Nemo- The littlest one had never seen it.That had to be remedied.

Kid:#2″Mom,why does Dorrie remind me of you.”

Me:”Um. Who are you again?”

———————————————————————

Eddie Izzard: Definite Article- Eddie Izzard is the cure for menstrual cramps and general malaise.

—————————————————————————–

The Mist

The most exciting moment of this movie is when it opens. David Drayton is an artist who paints movie posters for studios. On his easel is a work in progress…a movie poster for The Dark Tower. The idea of even the slightest possibility of a Dark Tower movie makes me squee with delight.

I fell alseep before the end and missed the religious nutcase getting killed. A damn shame.