The Midwife by Loren Entz
Mama Birth: The C-Section As Birth Control
This is a great piece about women choosing to limit their family size after having a c-section. My first birth was a forced, unnecessary c-section that I refer to as a “birth rape”, a term I’ve learned is not without controversy. The experience itself was incredibly traumatic. The aftermath of healing and what it means to have had a c-section added to how I viewed birth for a long time. I was determined to never have another baby ,ever. I was terrified of having even ¼ of the same experience repeated. My first- born was six when failed birth control led to my second pregnancy. The fear of childbirth was so intense that abortion was the very first thought when that pregnancy test turned out positive. For whatever reason ,I didn’t abort and I got through it. I got over the fear but according to the study, it impacts women’s views on birth enough that they don’t just “get over it”.
I have been incredibly fortunate to have never had a repeat Cesarean. All my subsequent births were VBAC. When my local hospital instituted a VBAC ban, even for women who had successfully had a VBAC, I was so determined not to have another c-section that I opted to give birth unassisted at home. THAT is how crucial it was to me that I never have another Cesarean. I have so many conversations with women where I’m baffled at how accepting they are of c-sections as a normal birth and how abnormal women (such as myself) are viewed for not wanting it. If I openly speak about my negative experience with my own c-section, I’m brushed off and the attitude is one of ,”Just get over it already.” Being pro-choice, I can’t say to a woman who has made an educated decision to have a c-section. Even if I would never make that choice for myself, it’s her body,her baby….I respect that. Why,then is it so hard for women to not call women crazy for wanting to have a drug-free, non-medicalized birth? Especially when their views on birth are born from individual experience.
In related news, Kourtney Kardashian pulled a baby out of her vagina. I say it’s related only because the way it’s put out there in the media feeds into how society thinks about birth. Not just some Kardashian’s birth,anyone’s birth. This one link in particular is a good example.Jezebel is known as a feminist site that covers issues pertaining to women and they can’t mention a birth without doing that, “oh my god…she pulled a baby out of her vagina on TV!” The photo is labelled as “graphic” (it isn’t) and “Click at your own risk, or if you’re a doula’s apprentice, or if you just want to learn things”. Yes, birth is something terrifying to look at and you must be absurdly overly curious to want to see it.
Oh, and forget when Jezebel covers topics like PLACENTAS. Oh,dear gods. Not placentas!
I single them out but they aren’t the only pro-women site that does this. It’s probably a reflection of the youth and non-maternal influence of most of the contributers. I’m not saying that women who haven’t had babies should not write about such things but I am saying that if they don’t understand the subject completely (with real knowledge) and can’t present it in a positive matter, they should probably stick to discussing sexual harassment in the workplace and which sex toys are best .
Connor and family — from left to right: Ian, Micah (the author), Aimee, Michelle.
I’m not that into birth stories. I know, I know. Sometimes I get into a mood where I’ve read a bunch and get a little sentimental in my womb. It doesn’t take long before I’m bored,though. Sorry, birth stories…I’m just not that into you.
However , THIS is the best birth story ever and I’ve read it 5 times : A polyamorous quad welcomes their first child
Map of a Mother’s Body, As Labeled By Her Toddler via Reading and Chickens
I relate to all of this.
On the opposite end of my feelings about birth stories…birth photos. I’m a junkie. This baby….oh…*melts*
Do You Have “Momgratude”?
Momgratude are those things that Moms appreciate more than anyone. I know I have mine. Like the Tuesday after a 5 day break from school. HEAVEN.
Smartest baby ever. I wonder if they watched Star Wars a lot when baby was in utero?
One of my favorites from Humans of New York .
Other worthwhile things to read….
It’s a Bold Life: My son is in love with another boy - The Kindergarten crush is always sweet. I love this mama’s thoughts on her son’s first crush on another boy.
Sex Education for Kids with Autism & Aspberger’s- a chat with Sarah Attwood, the author of Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger’s Syndrome.
The Letdown of All Letdowns - Funky Little EarthChild’s fantastic post about Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. If this sounds like you, this might be why:
In my daughter’s first few months of life, I would notice that I would get extremely anxious when I would start nursing her. It would happen almost as soon as she would latch on and would last a few minutes and then stop. What would happen? As she nursed, I would get this overwhelming sense of anxiety and impending doom. All sorts of scenarios would pop into my head. I would start thinking about war, the end of the world, natural disasters, the death of my children, my death – scary, scary stuff. It did not help that we actually ended up with a few natural disasters in the first few weeks of my daughter’s life. By the time my daughter was 2 weeks old, she lived through an earthquake, a hurricane and several tornado warnings. Not much help there for quieting my anxious mind.
Banning spanking - Delaware became the first state to legally include spanking in their definition of child abuse. Oh, the uproar….
[blog title from "Family" by Dar Williams ]