Celebrating Teen Motherhood

It confuses people when I speak positively about  teen parents. When I say that I gave birth to my first child the day after my 17th birthday and that it was the best birthday present I ever had, people don’t know what to make of that. I personally  think it’s quite normal for a mother to frame in her thoughts the birth of her first child in such a way.

When I talk about the amazing young women I have known who have had babies in their teen years, it’s unfortunately misconstrued as a positive endorsement for girls in their teen years to have babies.  I can’t think of an instance I would advise a teenager to plan to have a baby. I have known some to intentionally conceive and while I think it’s typically because they’re trying to fill a need for love in their life,I don’t feel it’s the best idea ever. Still, those girls and every other girl who becomes pregnant in her teen years,  I support them no matter what. I support them if they choose to abort. I support them if they choose to have the baby & allow another family to adopt. And I absolutely  support and encourage the young mother who chooses to have a baby and raise it herself.  I don’t care how she got pregnant. After it happens, that part is over and done with. It’s time to move past it and help her put a plan of action in place so that she’s successful as a young woman in her own life and as a mother.

To make it clear, I’m all about preventing teen pregnancies. I am not about focusing shame and  heaping a great deal of emotional and moral bullshit on a girl (or her partner, if she has one) if  she does become pregnant.

As I mentioned the other day in a rambly rant that no one read, there is a huge part of teen pregnancy prevention that is not being addresses. People want to blame slutty teenage girls ( no mention of boys. Teenage girls are capable of immaculate conceptions,perhaps?) and irresponsible parenting. That’s the least of what’s going on. 20% of all teen pregnancies are the product of rape. 60% of teenage girls have a history of being sexually molested  or sexual assaulted. So, more than half the girls we’re focusing shame on in the scope of teen pregnancies are at risk and in situations beyond their control that are going to increase their odds for becoming pregnant.

This is something I want people to think about a lot when they’re condemning teenagers for making bad choices. Maybe it wasn’t their choice. Maybe we need to put more effort into sexual abuse and assault prevention programs as part of a comprehensive , national sex education program. Yes, access to Plan B is crucial for these girls especially. If Uncle Douchebag  has his way with his niece  she might not go talk to her parents or the police about it (many victims do not report their abusers ever) but she sure as hell also shouldn’t have to conceive his baby either .

I don’t believe we should condemn any teen for getting pregnant, anyway. Things happen. I’m a grown woman in a committed relationship who knows how to have sex “responsibly” and I still have had unplanned pregnancies. One thing I have learned about teen mothers is that they are diverse . Every girl has her own set of circumstances and an individual story, just like anybody. The judgement isn’t going to accomplish anything in helping that girl, and thereby helping society, to thrive.

When it sounds like I’m celebrating teen motherhood, what I’m doing is acknowledging young women as mothers doing what mothers do with more odds stacked against them. I’m not telling girls to go out and get pregnant. I’m just here to tell them that if they do,  it’s going to be ok. Their life isn’t ruined. They can still be fucking awesome and kick some ass at life.

And what’s the deal with this lady? Sheesh. Stupid Fox News. I don’t even know why I’m bothering because we know she’s going to say something stupid…

Yep, stupid all over the place.Hallelujah,teen pregnancy! Proof that the movie Juno worked and rejected abortion. She makes it sound like the most valuable thing about teenage pregnancy is that it can provide families with adoptable babies. And what is this stigma against adoptive birth mothers? Please. When I was pregnant as a teen, I planned on adoption. I was applauded for this choice. When I gave birth and changed my mind, that support and encouragement that got me through the pregnancy was GONE. There were actually people who wouldn’t even speak to me anymore because what I did was “stupid”. So, I reject a stigma on birth mothers and teen girls who would rather have an abortion  than face that. Are you clueless as to the stigma girls and women who have abortion face? Sorry. Try again, Nina Easton.

West Virginia Republican proposes kids work for school lunch

West Virginia just passed a controversial new bill called the Feed to Achieve Act. The bill ensures that every single school child be fed meals in school, regardless of income.  It makes sense to feed school children, based on countless studies that demonstrate the obvious connection between nutrition and school performance. West Virginia has been known as a state with the poorest health and nutrition overall. Way to go, WV ,for wanting to turn that around.

As we all know (my regular readers,anyway), there are some people who take issue with feeding poor kids, even if it’s going to help them succeed. When Whitney Houston sang , “I believe the children are our future…”, these people were wondering if the kids could pay their own way into that future. The biggest controversy in this bill is that ALL children will be fed, even if their parents can afford to feed them. I get being kind of pissed off by that but the bill states that funding for this program will come from private donations and non-profits, not taxpayer money. In West Virginia, as is the case in every other state, there are children who DO qualify for free and reduced lunch but are not enrolled in the program for various reasons and a lot more who belong to families that struggle with food security but are at that dangerous line where they make just over the amount to qualify for assistance. The program ensures all these children – and even those who aren’t being fed at home even if their parents can afford to feed them  - don’t fall through the cracks and are on a level playing field with every other kid in their classroom. At least nutritionally. Class equality. Crazy idea for many but makes a lot of sense for society.

Ray Canterbury, a delegate from Greenbriar, is clearly channeling some Dickensian character. He thinks kids should work for their food. Sure, if it’s in a school garden, helping to grow food that will be used in the school lunch program. I’d be down with that. There’s a huge connection between gardening and teaching kids good nutrition.  That’s not what he means though. He wants them mowing lawns, those greedy little slackers.

Now, this was just a proposal he floated around but before it becomes a real thing, you can contact this dude and let him know what a stupid idea it is before he makes a fool of himself (or convinces enough people it’s a great idea).

CONTACT

ray.canterbury@wvhouse.gov

Capitol Office:
Room 229E, Building 1
State Capitol Complex
Charleston, WV 25305
Capitol Phone: (304) 340-3131

Home:
Route 2, Box 288
Ronceverte, WV, 24970
Home Phone: (304) 645-6370

5 Books We Liked This Week

1. Fangbone! The Birthday Party of Pain by Michael Rex

My 7 year old hasn’t been too keen on reading. I know…shocking, seeing as he’s been raised in a house of readers. It’s just not his thing. The Fangbone books changed that. Fangbone is a barbarian child from an alternate world who has ended up in our world . He befriends a boy the same age and insinuates himself into the daily life of a third grader…while on his mission to guard The Big Toe of Drool (Drool being this scary ,evil dude who was dismantled into a bunch of pieces and will regain power when all his parts are reassembled. Long story.Read the books…)My kiddo ‘s been very enthusiastic about reading them . Sadly, we finished the 3rd and last one this week. Hopefully there are more in the works.

One thing I love about these books: The “our world” boy and Fangbone’s other new friends are part of a special ed class full of kids who have labels and dysfunctions and quirks. They’re bullied and picked on for their differences. I can think of many books that have protagonists who are misfits (probably because so many writers can identify with being the misfit) but not too many kids books portray The ADHD Kid as being one of the primary characters.

2. The Tub People by Pam Conrad 

Oh, my lord. The anxiety I had reading this book. Intense. But when i tried to explain what was so anxiety inducing about it, my teenagers looked at me like I was cray-cray. See, there’s these wooden toys (The Tub People) who are lined up on the edge of the tub except when the child who owns them has bath time but one evening at bath time , the little Tub Child goes down the drain. Down the fucking drain! The Tub Mother puts her face to the grate and peers down the drain looking for her lost child.

OH.MY.GOD. Lost child down the drain. I did not know this was my worst nightmare until reading this book.

Every night, they call for the Tub Child and then they stop calling for him and are just sad.

Ok, I know that these are wooden people but the idea of losing a child and knowing they aren’t coming back, having to just stop looking and carry on. Sad. Forever.

It does get better and it has a happy ending, thank the book gods, which is why this earns a place on a Books We Like list.

3. Robot Dreams by Sara Varon

Ok, I need to use the already written summary of this to tell you what it’s like:

Richly endearing and full of surprises, Robot Dreams follows an ill-fated friendship between a dog and robot. After a Labor Day jaunt to the beach leaves Robot rusty and immobilized in the sand, Dog, unsure what to do, abandons him. As the seasons pass, Dog tries to replace his friend, making and losing a series of new ones, from a melting snowman to epicurean anteaters. Meanwhile, Robot passes his time daydreaming, escaping to better places…Through interwoven journeys, the two characters long to recover from their day at the beach.

Although its adorable characters and playful charm will win over young readers, Robot Dreams speaks universally to the fragile nature of friendship, loss, and redemption

This is a wordless graphic novel. My 7 year old was a little hesitant about “reading” it on his own He explained to me it was because he has a hard time reading emotions and expressions. I felt like that was even more reason for him to give it a try & practice decoding some of these things he has a hard time with.It worked out well. The great thing about this book is that it’s sweet, simple and engaging enough for children but has deeper elements older people can appreciate.

4. Stuck

This little boy named Floyd gets his kite stuck in a tree. He throws all sorts of things up into the tree trying to knock his kite free but…they all get stuck. Yeah, even the firemen. We love ridiculously far-fetched and exaggerated tales like this. great artwork and I LOVE the typography.I’m such a whore for good typograhy

5. Dragons Love Tacos

Well, of course they do. This is a how to guide for any kid who wants to throw a party for dragons. They love tacos but they HATE spicy stuff. That’s not just advice but a warning.

This was a cute book but nobody demanded a re-read of it.

At the end , the author & illustrator info is creatively written and fits the theme of the book. I LOVE when they do that!

My Favorite 5 Kids Books for the Holidays

I’m not a huge fan of the holidays but books help.

1. The Quiltmaker’s Gift by Jeff Brumbeau with pictures by Gail deMarken

This is not just one of my favorite books for the holidays, it’s one of my favorites of all time. Yes, I have a lot of favorites but this one is really special. As you might imagine from the title, it’s about a Quiltmaker. This Quiltmaker makes the most exquisite and beautiful quilts ever. Each quilt she makes is a gift she generously gives away to random people- such as a homeless person sleeping on the street (Yes, I know that in real life, a homeless person  would have such a thing stolen from them but that’s beside the point). There’s a king that rules over this kingdom the Quiltmaker lives in. He’s beyond greedy and demands everyone in the kingdom give him gifts but predictably, the more gifts he receives ,the unhappier, emptier , and lonelier he is. He sees one of the Quiltmaker’s quilts and thinks this will be the one thing that will finally satisfy him BUT the Quiltmaker isn’t having any of it and refuses to give the King one of her quilts…UNLESS he does something first – give away all his possessions. So he does and yeah…you know what happens. His heart grows 3 sizes that day.

It’s done without being super preachy about being materialistic. It’s a very quiet story. I think readers of children’s literature will understand what I mean by “a quiet story”. It’s a book you read out loud softly and maybe at a slower pace, letting the words really sink in. The illustrations are  just incredible and a true complement to the story. The illustrations of the quilts are something every quilt maker can appreciate.

2. Dinosaur Vs. Santa by Bob Shea 

If you’re not reading Bob Shea books to your kids, you should do that. He’s one of my favorite author/illustrator both for his fantastic design & illustrations and for his genuinely funny yet simple stories. His newest in his “Dinosaur Vs…” series features Dinosaur against the fat man.

“Dinosaur is getting ready for Santa! He tackles many challenges–decorating, making presents for Mom and Dad, trying not to be naughty–and defeats each one with his trademark ROAR! But on Christmas Eve, when he hears some rustling downstairs, he can’t resist a peek. Will our feisty red friend meet his match in the man in the red suit?”

This book comes with a removable letter to Santa…which sounds pretty cute but I don’t know because we got this book out from the library and the letter wasn’t with it. Hmmmph.

3. Shall I Knit You a Hat?: A Christmas Yarn by Kate Klise, M. Sarah Klise (Illustrations)

Cute rabbits that knit. If that isn’t enough to suck you in…. Mother Rabbit knits her little one a hat for the winter. Everyone loves handknitted stuff customized to your individual ears,right? So, Little Rabbit thoughtfully knits hats for all of his friends. That’s it. A little syrupy but adorable with a great message about not being ungrateful for handknitted goods.

The illustrations are also quite divine. One goodreads reviewer “Stephanie”  said it this way:

“this is one of those picture books you want to live in. i want to stay in the little wes anderson colored rabbit whole home with mother and little rabbit. we can knit hats, eat carrot cake, hang bunny family trees on the wall. i had no idea i wanted to be a bunny when i grew up until i read this book.”

4. The Shortest Day: Celebrating the Summer Solstice by Wendy Pfeffer, Linda Bleck

This one is a non-fiction book geared toward young readers that explains the significance of The Winter Solstice to ancient cultures and how to evolved into modern celebrations. Wendy Pfeffer has written three other books that preclude this about the other seasons. I think  they’re all must-reads for Pagan families.

5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr Seuss

This one doesn’t really need a synopsis. You all know this one.

[The Daily Five] Ghosts of War…ghost dogs…. stuff

:: Look At This::

[via Laughing Squid ]

“Ghosts of War” is an ongoing series of then and now composite photos of Europe during World War II. Dutch historianJo Teeuwisse creates each image by first tracking down the location depicted in the photo. She then replicates the photo with her own camera (some modern day photos were taken by claude.demeester) and digitally combines the images into a ghostly composite. For more of her then and now composites, see her Flickr collection “The Ghosts of History.”

Check them all out. Incredible.

::Watch::

The Flog is back. Felicia and Ryan play Zombies Ate My Neighbors

:: Read:: 

Bone Dog by Eric Rohmann

This is the story of Gus and his dog Ella. Ella dies, which is really sad obviously but true to loyal dog form, she swears she will be there for Gus forever. Even after she’s a skeleton-ghost dog. So, the story is a little creepy…yet sweet and touching.  There’s a part where  Gus is being mobbed by skeletons in the cemetery and they tell him , You got guts ,kid…but not for long!”.  My super sensitive kiddo wasn’t too keen on that but overall, he enjoyed the story, which reminded us both a good deal of Victor and his dog Scraps in The Corpse Bride. His favorite part was more of a design element. Over the title page, there’s a vellum page with an illustration of Ella in life form that turns to reveal Ella in skeleton form.

 

::Tumblr::

 

Fuck Yeah History Crushes

Yeah….geek girl swoons.

:: Wanderlust ::

 

[via Sarah Dawson ]

Isabella’s Window

Isabella inherited the estates of her husband, William de Fortibus in 1260 at the age of 23. Two years later her brother, Baldwin de Redvers, died and she inherited his lands in the Isle of Wight, Hampshire and Devon. This meant that by her 26th birthday she had become one of the great landowners in England of her day. It was unusual at that time for a woman to hold such great power and in order to maintain and enforce her rights Isabella became fiercely litigious.

Many or her records survive, giving an exceptionally clear picture of the work she did at Carisbrooke. She made the castle her main residednce and the administrative headquarters of her southern estates. She began by reordering the principal apartments of the castle. At one end of the hall she added the chapel of St. Peter. At the other, northern end, she added a great chamber for herself, with windows looking out across the Island.

[The Daily Five] Fall Out Boy.Virginia Woolf.Loki.Jay Smooth.Herbs

::Song::

That awkward moment when you’re listening to your ipod and a parents of a kid that goes to school with your kid stops to talk to you…and asks, “What are you listening to?”
And you say Fall Out Boy.

Then it just gets even more awkward when the other parent asks,”What kind of Boy?”

Nevermind.

::Good Read::

This is a beautiful book from Kyo Maclear and Isabelle Arsenault, who also did one of our faves, Spork, together.

Based on Virginia Woolfe’s childhood with her sister Vanessa. Vanessa was “sunny” and Virginia was “blue”. When Virginia was in a “wofish” mood, Vanessa (who was a painter), would create a painted garden for her to cheer her up. I’m sure kids don’t understand that Virginia was battling mental illness ,even at a young age but they’re still able to connect the sibling love and concern Vanessa has for her moody and gloomy sister.

:: Tumblr::

Loki’s Dirty Whispers

Complete geek fangirl swoon.

:: Watch::

Ill Doctrine: Don’t Call It A Comeback (Debate Remix) from ANIMALNewYork.com on Vimeo.

Jay Smooth sums up the last debate perfectly.

::How To::

Grow ‘em yourself, all winter long

The only one I have problems growing inside is basil. It doesn’t help that we have crappy natural light in this house.

To check out past posts of The Daily Five, go here.

[Mothering Monday] Let your love cover me ,like a pair of angel wings …you are my family

The Midwife by Loren Entz

Mama Birth: The C-Section As Birth Control

This is a great piece about women choosing to limit their family size after having a c-section. My first birth was a forced, unnecessary c-section that I refer to as a “birth rape”, a term I’ve learned is not without controversy. The experience itself was incredibly traumatic. The aftermath of healing and what it means to have had a c-section added to how I viewed birth for a long time. I was determined to never have another baby ,ever. I was terrified of having even ¼ of the same experience repeated. My first- born was six when failed birth control led to my second pregnancy. The fear of childbirth was so intense that abortion was the very first thought when that pregnancy test turned out positive. For whatever reason ,I didn’t abort and I got through it. I got over the fear but according to the study, it  impacts women’s views on birth enough that they don’t  just “get over it”.

I have been incredibly fortunate to have never had a repeat Cesarean. All my subsequent births were VBAC.  When my local hospital instituted a VBAC ban, even for women who had successfully had a VBAC,  I was so determined not to have another c-section that I opted to give birth unassisted at home. THAT is how crucial it was to me that I never have another Cesarean. I have so many conversations with women where I’m baffled at how accepting they are of c-sections as a normal birth and how abnormal women (such as myself) are viewed for not wanting it. If I openly speak about my negative experience with my own c-section, I’m brushed off and the attitude is one of ,”Just get over it already.”  Being pro-choice, I can’t say to a woman who has made an educated decision to have a c-section. Even if I would never make that choice for myself, it’s her body,her baby….I respect that. Why,then is it so hard for women to not call women crazy for wanting  to have a drug-free, non-medicalized birth?  Especially when their views on birth are born from individual experience.

In related news, Kourtney Kardashian pulled a baby out of her vagina. I say it’s related only because the way it’s put out there in the media feeds into how society thinks about birth. Not just some Kardashian’s birth,anyone’s birth. This one link  in particular is a good example.Jezebel is known as a feminist site that covers issues pertaining to women and they can’t mention a birth without doing that, “oh my god…she pulled a baby out of her vagina on TV!” The photo is labelled as “graphic” (it isn’t) and “Click at your own risk, or if you’re a doula’s apprentice, or if you just want to learn things”. Yes, birth is something  terrifying to look at and you must be absurdly overly curious to want to see it.

Oh, and forget when Jezebel covers topics like PLACENTAS. Oh,dear gods. Not placentas!
I single them out but they aren’t the only pro-women site that does this. It’s probably a reflection of  the youth and non-maternal influence of most of the contributers. I’m not saying that women who haven’t had babies should not write about such things but I am saying that if they don’t understand the subject completely (with real knowledge) and can’t present it in a positive matter, they should probably stick to discussing sexual harassment in the workplace and which sex toys are best .

♥

Connor and family — from left to right: Ian, Micah (the author), Aimee, Michelle.

I’m not that into birth stories. I know, I know. Sometimes I get into a mood where I’ve read a bunch and get a little sentimental in my womb. It doesn’t take long before I’m bored,though. Sorry, birth stories…I’m just not that into you.

However , THIS is the best birth story ever and I’ve read it 5 times : A polyamorous quad welcomes their first child

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Map of a Mother’s Body, As Labeled By Her Toddler via  Reading and Chickens

I relate to all of this.

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On the opposite end of my feelings about birth stories…birth photos. I’m a junkie.  This baby….oh…*melts*

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Do You Have “Momgratude”?

Momgratude are those things that Moms appreciate more than anyone. I know I have mine. Like the Tuesday after a 5 day break from school. HEAVEN.

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Smartest baby ever. I wonder if they watched Star Wars a lot when baby was in utero?

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One of my favorites from Humans of New York .

Other worthwhile things to read….

It’s a Bold Life: My son is in love with another boy - The Kindergarten crush is always sweet.  I love this mama’s thoughts on her son’s first crush on another boy.

Sex Education for Kids with Autism & Aspberger’s- a chat with Sarah Attwood, the author of Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger’s Syndrome.

The Letdown of All Letdowns - Funky Little EarthChild’s fantastic post about Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. If this sounds like you, this might be why:

 In my daughter’s first few months of life, I would notice that I would get extremely anxious when I would start nursing her. It would happen almost as soon as she would latch on and would last a few minutes and then stop. What would happen? As she nursed, I would get this overwhelming sense of anxiety and impending doom. All sorts of scenarios would pop into my head. I would start thinking about war, the end of the world, natural disasters, the death of my children, my death – scary, scary stuff. It did not help that we actually ended up with a few natural disasters in the first few weeks of my daughter’s life. By the time my daughter was 2 weeks old, she lived through an earthquake, a hurricane and several tornado warnings. Not much help there for quieting my anxious mind.

 

Banning spanking - Delaware became the first state to legally include spanking in their definition of child abuse. Oh, the uproar….

 

[blog title from "Family" by Dar Williams ]

[Mothering Monday] “Hate is taught…let’s unlearn”

A collection of things seen and read this past week relating to parenting and the mothering experience.

[via: pakistanisagainststereotyping ]

Sarah and Obaid and their infinitely adorable Nusaybah are three lovely Pakistanis who know how hate rolls: It’s taught so it has to be unlearned.

Stop stereotyping. Stop the hate.

Ooph also has an excellent article this week  : Facts and Discussion Points for your Teens and Older Tweens Regarding Islam, Libya, the Movie Innocence of Muslims and the United States Involvement  . The language in it is simple enough that I would say it you could even use this to talk to tween who are interested.  It  is not political biased or influenced by any religious stance, just factual info with some suggestions of discussion points.

♥

[via http://www.conscienceparenting.com ]

The Real Mother’s Cleaning Schedule - more realistic than any organization and cleaning schedule you’ll find on Pinterest. For the record, swearing does indeed count as cleaning. Have you ever picked up a hundred mancala stones only to watch your toddler dump them all over the floor again?

♥

[via http://moms.today.com/ ]

Mother of 6 ditches SUV for super-sized bike

Several people have sent me this picture now. One, not knowing my location or the age of my kids for sure , thought perhaps it was me! Nope, there are other crazy women with 6 kids who don’t own a car out there. This woman is doing better than I am right now. I don’t even own a bike at the moment  and our trailer that we used for hauling EVERYTHING – from kids to groceries to Freecycle pickups  - was left unattended and unlocked one night in our driveway. Some teenage boys took it joyriding and bent the axles that it was garbage afterward. Um…I guess it was great that they brought it back?  It was pretty angering, considering it was our only real means besides a Radio Flyer wagon for hauling things. …and it beat pulling the wagon any day.

Next Spring, we’ll get re-outfitted right.

♥

[via http://www.momsinbabeland.com ]

Adult Sleepover Etiquette -discussion for single parents on how to handle big-people sleepovers

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[via fiveintow ]

Wanna play?  Get four in a row–across, down, or diagonal–in a single morning, and you win!

♥

[via Kelli Elizabeth Photography]

I don’t love breastfeeding - I always loved breastfeeding. It is hard for me to relate to the idea of not loving it but regardless of my personal experience , I feel it’s crucial for women to be honest about their own feelings on experiences related to pregnancy,childbirth and parenting.  Pretending you’re loving something because you think that’s what a “good mother” is a horrible thing to do to yourself. It’s also not helpful to other women who may be under the impression that everything is butterflies and rainbows, then when going through the experience themselves find that it’s not all that fabulous and sunshiny. A lot of self-doubt is created in women when they’re led to believe the myth of “perfect” mothering experiences.

♥

[Thanks to Facebook follower Bobbi for this beautiful breastfeeding pic ]

No, You’re Not Pregnant  and Simultaneously PMSing , You Just Weaned A Toddler - as I’m struggling with weaning a toddler, this one was a great read

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YO Orga Orga(sm)! -comparisons of sex toys to… oh,I don’t even have to tell you which children’s show. If you watch it on a regular basis, you’ve probably already made the comparison yourself.

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Mothering Monday: Moms Fight Hunger,Breastfeeding with pierced nipples, co-sleeping sex,a gorgeous homebirth video and a geek parenting tip

Seen & noted related to parenting recently

 

This is a video from 2010 of Pamela Price and Holly Hirshberg talking about food security & safety and how gardening can be instrumental in reversing food insecurity, a subject you all know is very important to me. Now Pamela is participating in the Moms Fighting Hunger initiative headed up by Stacy of KidsStuffWorld.com.  She’s asking for one very specific thing:

Will you please donate just one jar of SunButter* to your local food pantry by the end of the year?

Here’s why I’m asking:

As you may recall, a family member is peanut allergic. In a past life, when I served on the board of a community food bank, I learned that peanut butter is a staple among families with food security issues. When I think about that fact–and what peanut exposure could do to us if we were a needy family, I want to weep. See, food insecure families with peanut allergic members have even more stress than the wider hunger-plagued population.

It’s a simple thing to do. I hope a few of you can help out.

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Please stop saying that  – Yes, THAT “Enjoy every moment!” thing that people say to new parents.

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What No One Ever Tells You About Nipple Piercing - a really great piece about breastfeeding after having pierced nipples

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I always wondered why people have to ask that about co-sleeping. They must not be very imaginative or sexually creative if they can’t figure out how to do it without a bed.

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In a quiet street in the suburbs a little boy was welcomed into the peacefulness of his parents arms in the privacy of their lounge room. Surrounded by family and his midwives. Born in his caul into water, Oliver Byron, 8lbs.

(read his birth story here)

This is a ridiculously beautiful home birth video. Don’t watch it unless you want your uterus to ache and your tits to leak. Yes, I’m talking to you men out there,too.

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There needs to be a counting picture book, in board book form.

Q & A :4

Here we go! This week’s “Ask me anything”.

Corey asked:  Best Stevie Nicks song ever?

I was about 9 or 10 when I discovered Stevie Nicks. It was hard to avoid it.I had a friend who’s Mom used to listen to “Bella donna” over and over again. Every time I’d walk into their house, Stevie Nicks was on the turntable and her Mom would be doing some twirly dance around their tiny trailer, singing along to every song.

She was the coolest Mom ever. I wanted her to be my Mom. My Mom listened to Bobby Darin and Dan Fogelberg.

So, I asked for Stevie Nicks albums for Christmas that year and my uncle did one better and also gifted me some Fleetwood Mac.

I may have had the tiniest spark of witchling in me even then. The one thing I was drawn to about Stevie Nicks was the aura of mysticism.

The way she dressed,too. I think  the next time I reinvent myself, I’m going to only dress like that.

And Rhiannon was my most favorite song.

I had no idea what it was really about then. I just liked it. Later it connected for me as I became interested in the  Mabinogion (my first born was named Dylan not only for the poet Dylan Thomas but also because of the stories in the Mabinogion ). I also nearly named one of my twins Rhiannon. I’m really glad I didn’t . It seems like it’s become a  popular name for fluffy-bunny witches to name their babies.

I also really love this scene with Joan Cusack & Jack Black in School of Rock.That’s a fine tribute to Stevie Nicks.

 

Meaghan asked:  You are in a similar financial situation as we are, based on what you’ve posted. How do you not feel bad for saying No all the time to your kids? I feel like my constant refrain is, “No, we can’t afford it.” everything from vacations to going out to eat, to joining sports and having extracurriculars that cost money. I like to think we make up for it in other ways, but how do you not feel shitty sometimes?

I feel like that’s a constant thing I’m telling my kids ,too…”We can’t afford it.”, followed by,”I’m really sorry.” I’m grateful my kids aren’t very demanding and have never really asked for much and they do understand . I’ve always been frugal and never been one to give kids too many material things ,so I don’t think they care about that. It’s the things like music lessons and gymnastics and things like that I feel bad about.. If they want to do something bad enough and it’s something they need money for, they’ll ask they’re grandmother or someone else if they have any odd jobs they can do to earn cash. In some ways,I feel bad that they do that (and that I can’t just have them work for me and have them earn the money) BUT I think it ultimately will give them a great work ethic and sense of responsibility later on.

Sherry asked: You say you won’t debate abortion but you keep posting things about it. If you don’t want to debate,why do that?

(she’s referring to posts on the Facebook page)

I am very adamantly pro-choice. It’s an unwavering conviction. If I post things pertaining to the politics concerning abortion, it’s not an invitation for debate but more an affirmation & representation of my personal beliefs. I’m not trying to change the point of view of someone who is equally as passionate about keeping choices away from women. If someone on the fence on the issue sees something I post and has a defining moment, that’s great  but mostly, it’s just for my own “putting it all out there” purposes. The reason I say I will not debate is because it is a complete and utter waste of not just my time but also the person trying to argue with me. I’m just trying to save us both the trouble.  There is and never will be a single thing anyone can say to bring me on the negative side of 100% on the topic so it’s pointless to yell at me over the internet about it .Or in person,even.

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Want to ask a question for next week? Post it here in the comments or ask on the facebook page. You can either leave it on the Wall or send me a private message .