5 Things To Do With A Cabbage

1. Make 30 Eggrolls for your Twins’ 16th Birthday Dinner – It was what my girls requested this year – veggie egg rolls. With homemade Cream of Mushroom Soup. It sounds like an odd combo but it’s what they wanted. Whenever I make mushroom soup, I wonder why people eat it out of a can. It’s so easy to make from scratch & tastes a zillion times better. Homemade eggrolls on the other hand, the assemblage of them is the one reasons I understand why someone wouldn’t want to bother with homemade. However, I have kids who like to help in the kitchen and once they get the hang of it, they make excellent egg roll assemblers!

Here’s what you do to make eggrolls:

Chop up some cabbage. Or shred it, whichever. I used about ¼ of the head. Add chopped mushrooms, bean sprouts, some chopped spinach…basically whatever veggies you want. How much? Oh, are you new here to my blog? I don’t measure. I just add enough to make a good proportion between all the veg. Ass a few teaspoons of ginger, a couple cloves of garlic, and a few tablespoons of soy sauce.Mix it all up. This is your egg roll filling.

So, you also have to get some egg roll wrappers. Now you can fill them. Like this!

Now you cook them. Heat oil in a large frying pan and lace egg rolls with enough space between them so you can easily turn them. Cook until browned on each side and tada…done.

2. Lentil & Cabbage Skillet Bake - A few nights after eggrolls, I used another half for this

[image via lukavolger.com ]

This was so easy and yummy. I’m looking forward to having some leftovers for lunch today.

Lentil and Cabbage Skillet Bake
Serves 4 or 5

4 tablespoons olive oil, divided
2 celery stalks, diced
1 leek, white part only, sliced into thin half-rings
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons tomato paste
4 cups shredded cabbage (about half a small head)
1 teaspoon salt
Pinch sugar
3 cups cooked brown lentils, cooking liquid reserved
1 teaspoon red wine vinegar
Pepper
1-1/2 cups very coarse breadcrumbs, preferably homemade, or 3/4 cup of panko
Pinch herbes de providence, or smaller pinches of dried thyme, rosemary, and parsley

1. Preheat the oven to 400° F.

2. Heat 3 tablespoons of the olive oil in a 10- or 12-inch oven-safe skillet over medium heat. When hot, add the celery and leeks and cook until they just start to soften, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and tomato paste and cook for about a minute, stirring, until fragrant. Add the cabbage, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and sugar and cook for 15 to 20 minutes, until tender. Add several grinds of black pepper and taste, adding additional salt if needed. Stir in the lentils and 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid, cook until the beans are heated through, then remove from the heat. Taste again for balance, then spread the mixture into an even layer.

3. Combine the breadcrumbs with remaining 1 tablespoon oil, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and the dried herbs. Distribute the breadcrumbs over the beans. Bake for about 15 minutes, until the topping is golden-brown and crisp. Serve hot.

I substituted balsamic vinegar for red wine vinegar and added a little bit more lentils and liquid (because I’m feeding a monstrous horde)

3. Put it in your bra

I’ll be 60 and long past my breastfeeding days and I will still associate cabbage with my bout with mastitis. I read a lot about cabbage in those days and learned that there’s some speculation as to whether or not the whole cabbage leaf relief for sore breasts is just a bunch of hooey with placebo effect results. I don’t know. It did help me feel some relief and I have a feeling that I will still recommend it as a first remedy for nursing mothers. There was one slightly strange thing that kept happening  during my last experience with mastitis ,though. My toddler nursling kept stealing bits of the leaves from my bra…to nibble on!
Gross,right?!  Weird kid.

4. Have a photo shoot with it

Seriously, have you ever looked at a cabbage? They’re pretty fucking cool. All those folds and layers and nifty contours.

5. Um…Slaw? Soup? More egg rolls? 

I have no idea what’s in store for the ¼ head I have left. One of my favorite veggie books Greene on Greens has a recipe for Cabbage Pancakes that sounds…interesting. Maybe we’ll try that out tomorrow.

[Mothering Monday] Some people actually like it when you nurse in public

Last week, I ate at a Friendly’s restaurant. At the mall. After shopping at AC Moore.

I know. Crazy. Restaurant chain…big box store. Mall. Hardly sounds like me but it happens every so often that I need to go float in the swill of the corporate consumer world. And let’s be realistic – the little bit of money I drop there every once in awhile isn’t going to help them gain global dominance. I had a gift card for AC Moore (which by the way, the “AC” stands for Alice Cooper. Or Alistair Crowley)  WAY back from my last birthday in March for my therapy (art supplies) that I wanted to use and after that, preceded by a morning full of a kid well visit, a toddler fall on the pavement, unsatisfactory thrift store shopping, shoe shopping, and fucking Salvation Army bell ringing , I was feeling hangry. At our Mall, our best bet is Friendly’s.

Sir Snugglemuffin was a little restless and tired while waiting for our food so I squeezed him onto my lap to nurse.  I’m pretty much a honey badger when it comes to caring about what people might think of me nursing at a restaurant table and I hardly consider it. In all the time I’ve been a Mama (23 years), I’ve had exactly ONE negative experience breastfeeding in public. It was at a Ponderosa restaurant . I was asked to go to the bathroom.  I didn’t budge and my Grandfather (a rather fit, former Marine) stood up to the waiter and manager and asked them what their problem was. There didn’t seem to be a problem after that.

The only reason I sometimes wonder if someone will mind if I’m nursing in public is the attention it has received on the Internet. There seem to always be “alerts” as to when a nursing mother has been asked to move from a public place while breastfeeding. There are organized nurse-ins to protest. My twitter feed sometimes has retweets of outraged people tweeting about the indecency they were exposed to while standing in line at Walmart or at church or while at a sporting event or holy shit….while trying to EAT. God forbid a baby be fed and nourished in public view while someone is trying to eat. But personally, I’ve not encountered the hatred thrown at women for simply responding to her baby’s needs by nursing where it’s most convenient.

But back to our lunch at Friendly’s…

I was nursing Sir Snugglemuffin and our waitress, a friendly (hehe…friendly) woman named Barbie, came over to see if we were ready to order. Seeing my toddler obviously nursing , her face lit up with enthusiasm. She gushed nothing but enthusiastic encouragement about breastfeeding and shared with us her own fantastic experiences nursing her own children.

The exchange was brief but it got me thinking. There’s so much focus on the discrimination nursing mothers receive from the prudish naysayers that it almost seems that it has created an atmosphere of paranoia among breastfeeding women. When a woman is treated badly and discriminated against for nursing in public, of course those doing the discrimination should be made aware of their ignorance and certainly if they are infringing upon legal rights, be asked to correct their position. But more and more these days, I keep thinking of this mindset of  ”Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative”. I have a feeling that if a woman makes a practice of nursing in public during the duration of her breastfeeding experience, the good experiences probably outweigh the bad. It just happens that people tend to talk about the bad stuff that happens more often than the good stuff.

What would happen if we put as much energy into talking up our good experiences as we do the bad ones? What if every women who respects and appreciates the value of breastfeeding praises a woman for doing it when she sees it? If we’re putting these positive experiences out there more and more, it makes it easier for a woman who might be leery of nursing in public to just go ahead and do it without reservations. It might cause people who frown upon public displays of infant boob feeding to pause . In pausing, the might reconsider their views or (because I’m a terrible cynic and think the worst of society foremost) if it doesn’t cause them to change their views on it, at least put themselves in check before they open their mouth and out themselves as an asshat. Accentuating the positive moments are all part of what will essentially normalize not just breastfeeding in  public but breastfeeding itself.

[Mothering Monday] Where to get treatment for mastitis when you don’t have health insurance

The Internet is an incredible resource and support system for breastfeeding women. Except when it comes to offering helpful advice to low income women who don’t have health insurance and are suffering from mastitis. In most parts of the US now, if a person does not have health insurance, they do not have a care provider at all. This makes acquiring even a simple prescription for antibiotics a huge challenge .

On the most popular websites and forums for nursing women, the #1 piece of advice given to a woman who is suffering from a bout of mastitis and does not have health insurance is: “Go apply for medicaid.”

This is the most unhelpful advice ever.

Mastitis is a fast-progressing,aggressive bacterial infection that almost always requires antibiotics.

Medicaid is a slow-moving, passive process that always requires time and  patience.

Even if a woman dealing with mastitis were to get into her local Medicaid office right away (highly unlikely), the process for approval sometimes takes months. She isn’t going to walk out of the office that day with insurance coverage. Left untreated for too long, the best case scenario for mastitis is that the abscess will require surgery . Worst case, the infection will enter the bloodstream and cause death. This isn’t an infection that will wait for bureaucratic processes.

Here’s what to do instead…

What To Do When You Have Mastitis But Don’t Have Health Insurance

1. Begin Treatment At Home - There are things you can do at home to relieve the pain and discomfort, as well as prevent the infection from getting worse until you can get a prescription for antibiotics. If possible  nurse or pump as often as you can on the affected side. Between feedings or pumpings, alternate between cold & hot compresses. Hand massage the area. Use natural sources of antibiotics, such as a combination of  garlic,raw honey,lemon balm,,ginger,goldenseal ,sage and/or oregon grape. Use either ibuprofen or rooibus tea for anti-inflammatory and fever reducing. I recommend 1,500 mg of garlic tabs 4 times a day and a blend of herbs in a tea several times a day. If the mastitis is in the early stages, these methods alone might do the trick. Natural antibiotics are effective but act slower than pharmaceuticals. Mastitis can progress very quickly and the natural antibiotics may not be able to keep up with it.
2. Call Planned Parenthood  -  not all Planned Parenthood clinics  are funded to handle complete services but in most cases, if the clinic offers “Womens Health Services” , they will be able to examine you and prescribe antibiotics. Payment is on a sliding scale fee basis.Quite often, payment for low income women is FREE. Likewise, knowing you are low income, they will not prescribe you medication you cannot afford and that often falls under the category of reduced fees at local pharmacies. (Walmart is not the only place that offers the $4 scripts. Actually, some local owned pharmacies can do better and offer them for FREE to uninsured customers)

If your local Planned Parenthood does not offer complete womens health services or you have ethical objections to visiting Planned Parenthood, then try the following….

3. Le Leche League-  although they can’t prescribe antibiotics, they will be the best source of support and information as to who in your area would be most likely to treat a low income woman

4. Your Local Health Department-  Ask the receptionist if there is a Lactation Consultant or Nurse you can speak to. Not every health department has LCs on staff and even those who do may not be able to help provide you services unless you are a WIC recipient. Still, it’s worth a call. Even if they can’t help you out, they may be able to brainstorm solutions .

5. Local Midwives –  If you had a midwife assisted pregnancy and birth, it’s worth calling her or even if you didn’t, I highly recommend calling a local midwife for advice . Midwives who attend homebirths are especially more likely to work with you out of an “official” setting and prescribe you antibiotics and follow-up care

6. A Free Clinic - If you have one in your area, hallelujah. Use it.

7.  Your Child’s Pediatrician – It’s a long shot, but if you explain your situation to them, some pediatrician practices may be willing to bed the rules a tad bit. My children’s pediatrician has a Lactation Consultant on staff and although they were very sympathetic to me situation, their protocol is that they can only treat a breastfeeding mother for things such as thrush because it affects the baby’s health. How they reason that mastitis doesn’t affect a nursling is beyond me but that’s their rules.Other practices might have different protocol.

Your last ditch effort…

8. The Emergency Room - The last time I had mastitis, I went to the ER. The Dr never examined me. I said, “I have mastitis. I need antibiotics.” He wrote the prescription. The bill was $320 . Most expensive antibiotic prescription ever.  This last (current) bout with mastitis, I spoke to countless health care providers while trying to find treatment that didn’t require the ER or a ton of money and every single one of them advised me to exhaust all efforts and resources before going to the ER.

If you DO end up going to an ER for treatment, apply for Medicaid as soon as possible. Once you’re approved, Medicaid will pay for your medical bills up to 3 months prior to your enrollment in the program.

[Mothering Monday] Let your love cover me ,like a pair of angel wings …you are my family

The Midwife by Loren Entz

Mama Birth: The C-Section As Birth Control

This is a great piece about women choosing to limit their family size after having a c-section. My first birth was a forced, unnecessary c-section that I refer to as a “birth rape”, a term I’ve learned is not without controversy. The experience itself was incredibly traumatic. The aftermath of healing and what it means to have had a c-section added to how I viewed birth for a long time. I was determined to never have another baby ,ever. I was terrified of having even ¼ of the same experience repeated. My first- born was six when failed birth control led to my second pregnancy. The fear of childbirth was so intense that abortion was the very first thought when that pregnancy test turned out positive. For whatever reason ,I didn’t abort and I got through it. I got over the fear but according to the study, it  impacts women’s views on birth enough that they don’t  just “get over it”.

I have been incredibly fortunate to have never had a repeat Cesarean. All my subsequent births were VBAC.  When my local hospital instituted a VBAC ban, even for women who had successfully had a VBAC,  I was so determined not to have another c-section that I opted to give birth unassisted at home. THAT is how crucial it was to me that I never have another Cesarean. I have so many conversations with women where I’m baffled at how accepting they are of c-sections as a normal birth and how abnormal women (such as myself) are viewed for not wanting it. If I openly speak about my negative experience with my own c-section, I’m brushed off and the attitude is one of ,”Just get over it already.”  Being pro-choice, I can’t say to a woman who has made an educated decision to have a c-section. Even if I would never make that choice for myself, it’s her body,her baby….I respect that. Why,then is it so hard for women to not call women crazy for wanting  to have a drug-free, non-medicalized birth?  Especially when their views on birth are born from individual experience.

In related news, Kourtney Kardashian pulled a baby out of her vagina. I say it’s related only because the way it’s put out there in the media feeds into how society thinks about birth. Not just some Kardashian’s birth,anyone’s birth. This one link  in particular is a good example.Jezebel is known as a feminist site that covers issues pertaining to women and they can’t mention a birth without doing that, “oh my god…she pulled a baby out of her vagina on TV!” The photo is labelled as “graphic” (it isn’t) and “Click at your own risk, or if you’re a doula’s apprentice, or if you just want to learn things”. Yes, birth is something  terrifying to look at and you must be absurdly overly curious to want to see it.

Oh, and forget when Jezebel covers topics like PLACENTAS. Oh,dear gods. Not placentas!
I single them out but they aren’t the only pro-women site that does this. It’s probably a reflection of  the youth and non-maternal influence of most of the contributers. I’m not saying that women who haven’t had babies should not write about such things but I am saying that if they don’t understand the subject completely (with real knowledge) and can’t present it in a positive matter, they should probably stick to discussing sexual harassment in the workplace and which sex toys are best .

♥

Connor and family — from left to right: Ian, Micah (the author), Aimee, Michelle.

I’m not that into birth stories. I know, I know. Sometimes I get into a mood where I’ve read a bunch and get a little sentimental in my womb. It doesn’t take long before I’m bored,though. Sorry, birth stories…I’m just not that into you.

However , THIS is the best birth story ever and I’ve read it 5 times : A polyamorous quad welcomes their first child

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Map of a Mother’s Body, As Labeled By Her Toddler via  Reading and Chickens

I relate to all of this.

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On the opposite end of my feelings about birth stories…birth photos. I’m a junkie.  This baby….oh…*melts*

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Do You Have “Momgratude”?

Momgratude are those things that Moms appreciate more than anyone. I know I have mine. Like the Tuesday after a 5 day break from school. HEAVEN.

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Smartest baby ever. I wonder if they watched Star Wars a lot when baby was in utero?

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One of my favorites from Humans of New York .

Other worthwhile things to read….

It’s a Bold Life: My son is in love with another boy - The Kindergarten crush is always sweet.  I love this mama’s thoughts on her son’s first crush on another boy.

Sex Education for Kids with Autism & Aspberger’s- a chat with Sarah Attwood, the author of Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger’s Syndrome.

The Letdown of All Letdowns - Funky Little EarthChild’s fantastic post about Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. If this sounds like you, this might be why:

 In my daughter’s first few months of life, I would notice that I would get extremely anxious when I would start nursing her. It would happen almost as soon as she would latch on and would last a few minutes and then stop. What would happen? As she nursed, I would get this overwhelming sense of anxiety and impending doom. All sorts of scenarios would pop into my head. I would start thinking about war, the end of the world, natural disasters, the death of my children, my death – scary, scary stuff. It did not help that we actually ended up with a few natural disasters in the first few weeks of my daughter’s life. By the time my daughter was 2 weeks old, she lived through an earthquake, a hurricane and several tornado warnings. Not much help there for quieting my anxious mind.

 

Banning spanking - Delaware became the first state to legally include spanking in their definition of child abuse. Oh, the uproar….

 

[blog title from "Family" by Dar Williams ]

[Mothering Monday] “Hate is taught…let’s unlearn”

A collection of things seen and read this past week relating to parenting and the mothering experience.

[via: pakistanisagainststereotyping ]

Sarah and Obaid and their infinitely adorable Nusaybah are three lovely Pakistanis who know how hate rolls: It’s taught so it has to be unlearned.

Stop stereotyping. Stop the hate.

Ooph also has an excellent article this week  : Facts and Discussion Points for your Teens and Older Tweens Regarding Islam, Libya, the Movie Innocence of Muslims and the United States Involvement  . The language in it is simple enough that I would say it you could even use this to talk to tween who are interested.  It  is not political biased or influenced by any religious stance, just factual info with some suggestions of discussion points.

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[via http://www.conscienceparenting.com ]

The Real Mother’s Cleaning Schedule - more realistic than any organization and cleaning schedule you’ll find on Pinterest. For the record, swearing does indeed count as cleaning. Have you ever picked up a hundred mancala stones only to watch your toddler dump them all over the floor again?

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[via http://moms.today.com/ ]

Mother of 6 ditches SUV for super-sized bike

Several people have sent me this picture now. One, not knowing my location or the age of my kids for sure , thought perhaps it was me! Nope, there are other crazy women with 6 kids who don’t own a car out there. This woman is doing better than I am right now. I don’t even own a bike at the moment  and our trailer that we used for hauling EVERYTHING – from kids to groceries to Freecycle pickups  - was left unattended and unlocked one night in our driveway. Some teenage boys took it joyriding and bent the axles that it was garbage afterward. Um…I guess it was great that they brought it back?  It was pretty angering, considering it was our only real means besides a Radio Flyer wagon for hauling things. …and it beat pulling the wagon any day.

Next Spring, we’ll get re-outfitted right.

♥

[via http://www.momsinbabeland.com ]

Adult Sleepover Etiquette -discussion for single parents on how to handle big-people sleepovers

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[via fiveintow ]

Wanna play?  Get four in a row–across, down, or diagonal–in a single morning, and you win!

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[via Kelli Elizabeth Photography]

I don’t love breastfeeding - I always loved breastfeeding. It is hard for me to relate to the idea of not loving it but regardless of my personal experience , I feel it’s crucial for women to be honest about their own feelings on experiences related to pregnancy,childbirth and parenting.  Pretending you’re loving something because you think that’s what a “good mother” is a horrible thing to do to yourself. It’s also not helpful to other women who may be under the impression that everything is butterflies and rainbows, then when going through the experience themselves find that it’s not all that fabulous and sunshiny. A lot of self-doubt is created in women when they’re led to believe the myth of “perfect” mothering experiences.

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[Thanks to Facebook follower Bobbi for this beautiful breastfeeding pic ]

No, You’re Not Pregnant  and Simultaneously PMSing , You Just Weaned A Toddler - as I’m struggling with weaning a toddler, this one was a great read

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YO Orga Orga(sm)! -comparisons of sex toys to… oh,I don’t even have to tell you which children’s show. If you watch it on a regular basis, you’ve probably already made the comparison yourself.

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Mothering Monday: Moms Fight Hunger,Breastfeeding with pierced nipples, co-sleeping sex,a gorgeous homebirth video and a geek parenting tip

Seen & noted related to parenting recently

 

This is a video from 2010 of Pamela Price and Holly Hirshberg talking about food security & safety and how gardening can be instrumental in reversing food insecurity, a subject you all know is very important to me. Now Pamela is participating in the Moms Fighting Hunger initiative headed up by Stacy of KidsStuffWorld.com.  She’s asking for one very specific thing:

Will you please donate just one jar of SunButter* to your local food pantry by the end of the year?

Here’s why I’m asking:

As you may recall, a family member is peanut allergic. In a past life, when I served on the board of a community food bank, I learned that peanut butter is a staple among families with food security issues. When I think about that fact–and what peanut exposure could do to us if we were a needy family, I want to weep. See, food insecure families with peanut allergic members have even more stress than the wider hunger-plagued population.

It’s a simple thing to do. I hope a few of you can help out.

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Please stop saying that  – Yes, THAT “Enjoy every moment!” thing that people say to new parents.

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What No One Ever Tells You About Nipple Piercing - a really great piece about breastfeeding after having pierced nipples

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I always wondered why people have to ask that about co-sleeping. They must not be very imaginative or sexually creative if they can’t figure out how to do it without a bed.

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In a quiet street in the suburbs a little boy was welcomed into the peacefulness of his parents arms in the privacy of their lounge room. Surrounded by family and his midwives. Born in his caul into water, Oliver Byron, 8lbs.

(read his birth story here)

This is a ridiculously beautiful home birth video. Don’t watch it unless you want your uterus to ache and your tits to leak. Yes, I’m talking to you men out there,too.

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There needs to be a counting picture book, in board book form.

past week’s stuff- First Date Sex Anniversary, boobs & The Olympics

It was my Faux-Hubby and my “anniversary” on the 31st and I completely forgot . However, I did remember that it was Harry Potter’s birthday. That will serve as a handy trick to help me remember in the future.

We’ve been together for 13 years. On our first date, we went to a concert in a park. The band (a swing band)  played one song -“I’m Beginning To See the Light” - before a violent thunderstorm started quite suddenly. Everyone ran under a pavilion for cover but we were idiots and just sat on a picnic table, with a blanket over our heads and made out underneath it. While everyone in the pavilion watched. It felt like the rain was slowing ,so we came out from underneath the blanket and the crowd applauded. Go,us!

We followed that up with a visit to the Falls Overlook , where we made out some more and he dangled me upside down over a roughly 200 ft drop while he demonstrated how gifted he was at performing oral sex. Then we went home (my place) and did all the other good stuff.

He didn’t drop me, so I let him stick around. We never really had a second date. He just sort of moved in after that.

We …uh…celebrated this year  by going berry picking with the whole family. Things have changed a little bit in the way we thoroughly enjoy each other’s company since our first date. It’s all good,though.

Deee-lish.

Our progeny were in rare form at the beginning of the week and by 10:45 Wednesday morning, they had succeeded in driving me batshit crazy.  I’ve never been one of the Mamas who cries with anguish,”When does school start again?!” .I think I said it a few times this week.  It’s Loki & Sir Snugglemuffin. Those two are going to take my patience, stomp on it until it’s lifeless, and then throw it into a fire.

I’m thinking that Sir Snugglemuffin may need a new blog moniker. Thorkins, maybe.

So, the Olympics were going on this week.  Guess what? I didn’t give a shit.

It was also World Breastfeeding Week! Now,that…THAT I give a shit or two about.

Although, one might question how much of a fan I am of breastfeeding if they heard me bitch about how much I need to wean Sir Snugglemuffin. That kid loves his boob. I’m afraid he’ll still be trying to nurse when he goes to school.

Did I mention the Olympics were going on? Have I also ever mentioned that somehow I ended up with a man that likes sporty type things ,including the Olympics? He has a big library,fortunately…otherwise, this might not have worked out for so long. So, even though I didn’t give a shit about Olympic goings-on, he did and he made sure to fill me in on it all.

I patiently listened (with my patience that is on it’s last leg) and did my “Oh,really? Oh. Um hmm.” routine .Up until one morning when he said, “Oh,look at Great Britain racking up the medals!”

“Oh,really? Well, it doesn’t matter. They’ll pay for it. They fucked with the fabric of time. It’s unraveling as we speak. They had every chance to save themselves and just have David Tennant light the damn thing but noooo…so ,now we’re all fucked.”

And the Queen? Not amused. Me neither,sister.

But guess what? Faux-Hubby hasn’t really tried to discuss anything Olympic related since then. He had a good laugh at me and that was the end of it.

The only bad thing that happened this past week in La Casa de la Crazy was that my washing machine died. Yeah, doing laundry for 8 with no washer. FUN! There’s a crack in the actual drum ,so not only is it dead, it flooded the laundry room. The floor needed a good cleaning anyway,I guess. I’m searching on Craigslist for a new-to-us one and seriously hoping I score a computery model with Doot-doot buttons. (You should see me in places like Best Buy. I have the craziest geekgasms ever in that place. One time , I think an employee thought I was having sex on the fancy,high tech appliances because I was “oohing” and “aahing” so loud. )

I just want to do this. Every single time I do laundry.

 

And that’s how this week was. There was some business about chickens needing free speech ,too. We shall not discuss that anymore here,though. I get angry and stabby about it.  Hillary Monahan wrote a beautiful ,emotional post about what the chick-fil-a boycott means to her personally and if you only read one more thing about that nonsense, that should be it .

Food For Thought: Food That Is Not Chicken

Oh..also, I updated the About page here on the blog , as well as the ways to contact me . Ok, now I’m done.

[via For Babies Sake]

Peace!

I saw this and I thought of you…episode five

The things that people send me on the interwebs and say, “Hey, I saw this and I thought of you!” 

 

You know I like my sentence enhancers and I like them unfettered. It pisses me the fuck off when I see a perfectly good fuck all weighed down with asterisks! It’s “Fuck” not “F**K”. If you can’t use the word right, just don’t use it at all! So, Conscious Parenting  made me this. Freedom for all the fucks!

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[via a few people ]

Why,indeed! I’m glad they’ve put it all out there,though. It’s nice to know what hateful asses NOT to give your money to.

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[via Kate , who found it at Woman Uncensored ]

It boggles my mind that nursing in public is even a thing to be upset about.

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[via Patrea}

Do you know I have exactly zero Dr Who inspired tee shirts? Now you all know what to get me for *insert holiday here*

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[via my Faux-Hubby]

This is going to shock you but I have haters. I know! Crazy,right? Faux-Hubby sent this to me when I was having a bad day with the haters.

He also found me this car:

If I had a car like that, the haters would have a real reason to hate. No, not because I would run them over . Because it’s so cool.

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I saw this and thought of you /#3

Things people send me via email and social networking sites.

All worth sharing with everyone else because people who follow this blog are all awesome.

 

[via The Klonopin Chronicles]

 

I have always wanted this hat for one of my nurslings! Somehow I kept forgetting to get one. I think I have several of them still marked as favorites on Etsy. I should delete them because really….I mean it – not having another baby. I swear it.

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[via Susan]

This sums up my toddler perfectly.

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This came to me via Faux-Hubby. I think this means he loves me.

He also sent me this one:

This is loaded with things to talk about.  I love it.

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[via Lisa]

Crochet Playgrounds! Holy Amaze-yarnballs.

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My daughter sent this to me. Probably better not to ask.

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[via Marilyn]

A mob of breastfeeding women descends upon a trendy cafe in Bristol to protest a mother being verbally harassed for nursing her baby in public.

Way to go, Mother Suckers!

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[via Tovah]

Yeah, I love this.

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Nobody sent me anything David Tennant-related this past week?  That’s a little odd,eh?

 

Things I Want & Things I Have

Things I Want 

For More Kids to Stand Up For Their Friends When They See Them Being Bullied

I found this in Loki’s backpack after school. It’s a little tear-out card with American Girl logo printed on the back. I had no idea where it came from and when I asked him, he said he didn’t remember.Not surprising. This kid lives in his own little world. I thought it was hysterical that such a thing found it’s way to him. This is Loki we’re talking about – my “spirited child”. He needs no invitation to tune people out and he already knows (or thinks he knows)  that he does indeed know better than everyone.

It stood out in my mind as being something funny enough to mention it casually to another Mom, who happens to have a daughter in his class. And what a crazy random happenstance! It was her daughter who gave the card to my Loki. From what she understood of the incident, her little girl witnessed my son having issues with two boys who were bossing him around and being bullies ,so she went to her backpack and tore out the appropriate card from her American Girls “Stand Up For Yourself and Friends book  to give to Loki.

He’s had problems with these same two boys all year long . I don’t know why they insist on bullying him . He’s small for his age? He’s geeky?He’s very sensitive and creative? He prefers the company of girls? I have no idea but I’m glad someone is doing a fantastic job in their own parenting that has created a little soul who has enough awesomeness to try to stand up for him. Can more people teach their kids this, please?

To Become Nudists

I didn’t think that nudists were exactly crazy to begin. I see how it’s a lifestyle that has it’s merits. Now with a family our size, I definitely see more pros than cons. It’s highly unlikely I could convince the children to join me in nudism or accept me being naked all the time. I argue that for the sake of the environment, a large family really requires a nudist lifestyle. Not only would we save money buying clothes, we’d save both water and energy!  Who can argue with this logic?

A Hologram of Temperance Brennan’s Face When Someone Says or Does Something Stupid To Follow Me Around

Like this:

Not only would it be handy to have for those moments when someone does or says something moronic in my presence, it would be just as useful to point out the stupid things I do. Last week’s example: going out to run errands and being absolutely oblivious to the fact that my nursing bra flaps aren’t fastened. So, basically… walking about town, tits bouncing as freely as if I wasn’t wearing a bra at all. Having chats with old men about baseball  and making small talk with other people I encountered. All while my boobs were totally flapping freely, prominently displayed through a very thin t-shirt. It was only when back at home, in front of my house, when my dear neighbor said , “Sweetie, you forgot to do up your thingymajigs on your bra.”

Brilliant. This was after I had a complete conversation with the woman I’ve had a dumb and silly crush on for the past 3 years. I suppose there’s as much chance she found it attractive as there is she found it derpy. Or that she never even noticed because she was so intently listening to my opinion on The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. One can only hope.

The next day, I walked around outside my house (on Main St) with my skirt tucked into my underwear.At least I had a skirt on. The week before, I walked out the door and realized I didn’t have a skirt on at all and had to go back in to put one on.

I’m rather skilled at looking like a fruit loop in public.I should have my own reality show. Oh,wait…isn’t blogging kind of like a self-managed reality show?

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Things I Have

A Man Who Thinks My Nursing Bras are Sexy, Especially With The Flaps Open

My Faux-Hubby can be heard saying quite a few things that are the same as “Shit Crunchy Dads Say”. (Yeah, I cringe at “crunchy” but I’ll excuse it here for the purposes of making my point)

“That nursing bra is kind of hot”. Usually said when the flaps are open or if they aren’t currently open, he’ll ask for a boob flash.

“It was an unassisted homebirth”. I don’t volunteer this information to just anyone . There’s only so many times you can hear ,”Holy shit, that’s crazy. CRAZY!” . Occasionally I hear, “Good for you.That’s awesome!” but mostly I get the crazy reaction. But But Faux-Hubby? Oh, he’ll tell EVERYONE.  Then is either completely oblivious to their reaction or he’s a honey badger and just don’t give a shit.

A friend of mine relayed a story to me about a local shop owner who was talking about my hubby. The shop owner said, “WHO is that guy? He seems like he’s a pretty normal guy but then one day he was in here just after his baby was born and telling me about how he delivered the baby all by himself .At home – without a midwife!”

He’s just so damn proud of his baby catching skills, he can’t help but tell everyone.

“They got my foreskin but they’ll never get my son’s”.  Yeah, you think I’m an intactivist?  Talk to the man who doesn’t have his foreskin anymore because someone decided for him that it was just “extra skin”. Then you find out what an intactvist is really like.

Pretty much the only thing that doesn’t apply to my guy here is the diapering stuff because 98% of the time, I’m the diaper changer. Not because he won’t do it…it just works out that way. He does most of the baby wearing nowadays. It’s a fair trade off.

The other morning, he was laying in bed watching me get dressed. Before putting my bra on, I hoisted my boobs to where I thought they should be. I mused out loud, “If we had gobs of money, I might get these put back into place.”

He was incredulous. “Why? I think they’d look weird like that. You’ve nursed babies. You’re almost 40. They’re supposed to hang, naturally.”

A keeper.

Some Pretty Funky Hair

Exhibit A

I shaved my hair back in March. It happened to be about the same time everyone else was shaving their head for St Baldricks , so I felt like a jerk because I didn’t do it for cancer. My hair had been shedding horribly, presumably because of breastfeeding hormones and whatnot. It was getting to the point that family members were complaining about the places they were finding my hair. The final straw was when I found a hair wrapped around Sir Snugglemuffin’s penis while changing a diaper. I’ve heard the horror stories of babies nearly losing toes because of hair being wrapped around it . My poor baby’s penis was at stake. I took drastic measures and shaved my offensive hair off.

It wasn’t the first time I’ve shaved it completely so it wasn’t new ,uncharted territory for me. My personal experience being hair-free leads me to encourage every woman to do it at least once in their life. It’s liberating and a little humbling.

So, it’s growing back now and it does this thing where it just stands up, all by itself. Like Bride of Frankenstein but shorter. I can wet it a dozen times a day and it still just goes like that. I’ve acquired the nickname Sonic ,so I think I may dye it blue..

I’ve been wearing lots of hairbands until I figure out what I’m doing. It was suggested it’s the perfect time for a mohawk. AND since we’re getting married this summer, a BLUE mohawk? WIN.

A Gigantic Brain Crush on Jay Smooth

I always have but listen to the man speak up about how (gamer) men need to put other (gamer) men in their place when they’re being sexist assholes.

Ill Doctrine: All These Sexist Gamer Dudes Are Some Shook Ones from ANIMALNewYork.com on Vimeo.