Five Reasons I Can Never Be In A Fight Club

I fell the other day. I have no idea how. One minute I was on my feet, walking and then…I wasn’t. On the way down to the floor,I smashed my face into the arm of a chair. My top lip got busted pretty good. It probably needed stitches. One front tooth is..well…pretty much not there anymore. But I learned some things. Like, I will never be able to be in a fight club. Unless they can promise me to leave my mouth alone. 

1. It fucking hurts! - Childbirth I can handle. Facial contusions…no.
2. I don’t have insurance – …and I don’t have the balls to do DIY stitches at home
3. Straws are not environmentally friendly - this is a problem because I pretty much have to drink everything out of a straw right now. Yes, even my morning coffee and my beer on New Year’s Eve. Do you realize how stupid that looks? I have looked into eco-friendly straws now,though. I think I may need to get some.
4. I like my face unrearranged -Hey, I’m no model but I like my face just the way it is
5. The first rule of Fight Club is don’t talk about Fight Club – Really, you think I can be a part of something and not take tons of pictures and then blog about it? Not gonna happen.

[image via We Heart It ]