Toddler Breastfeeding Shenanigans

If you’ve ever nursed a toddler…well, first off let me say ,good for both of you!  If you’re a toddler nurser ,you know that it comes with it’s own set of humorous quirks.

There’s what I refer to as “Breastfeeding Acrobatics”, which conjures up images of a toddler getting a running start, somersaulting onto the boob and then doing a backflip off…. and really, that’s not too far from how it actually is sometimes. Toddlers are full of this boundless energy so it shouldn’t really be surprising that they can’t contain it long enough to have a nursey session.

There’s the Milk & Cookies nursing thing, in which toddler thinks a hit of breastmilk would go great with that cookie you gave him for a snack – except that he still has cookie bits in his mouth and that doesn’t work out so well.

All of my shirts currently are a size too big because my toddler insists on tucking himself entirely into my shirt when he has a sleepy nursing time. His legs go into my sleeves. His body, including head, get covered up with the rest. I will need all new shirts when I’m done nursing. I’m so thankful for thrift shops.

Recently, I started doing yoga again. Or at least, I tried doing yoga again. The act of quietly sitting in the middle of the floor with a nice,comfy mat was an open invitation for my toddler to come nurse. I actually attempted to let him continue while I stretched and twisted but it honestly wasn’t working. And I didn’t look nearly this good.

I also wasn’t naked, in case you were wondering.

Then there’s the  love pinches and boob squeezes. Usually, I can look down at Sir Snugglemuffin and ask nicely, “Could you please not squeeze my boob like that?”. He’ll give me a dejected sigh or an annoyed growl and stop. More often, he’ll stop nursing and jump down off my lap entirely.

I was starting to think he was a little masochist but this video yesterday gives some great insight into what’s up with those toddler pokes and squeezes.

The other day, Sir Snugglemuffin was nursing on my lap. He was tucked into my shirt , which usually means he’s sleepy but unlike most times, he was very restless and “busy”. The boob poking was atrocious. I told him he had to stop. When I lfited up my shirt, I discovered he hadn’t been pinching at all. He was drawing on me. How he ninjad a pen nd a marker under my shirt with him is beyond me. Future tat artist, I’m telling you.

I originally had planned to just post this pic on Facebook , so that’s why it’s so croppped that you can’t even tell it’s a breast. I just wasn’t sure how much of my non-sexualized breast was “acceptable” to have on Facebook. Whatev.

6 thoughts on “Toddler Breastfeeding Shenanigans

  1. That’s some fine artistry there! I think you should post the pic – until I read the description I thought that was an arm or a shoulder, you did a fine job of cropping it.

    We gave our toddler some dry erase markers the other day. Probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and now he loves them. He’s had two showers since then and I’m still finding marker ink in strange places that I swear I’ve already scrubbed on him.

  2. LOL–his artwork just cracked me up!!! And I love how he crawls right up in your shirt–that’s just too sweet. Definitely worth having to buy new shirts for. :)

    Maxidoodle was the only one of mine who breastfed up through toddlerhood.Even though he’s *by far* the most active, absotively-posilutely-can’t-keep-still kiddo of the three, when he nursed he was Mr. Mellow. I think it was his way of giving himself a rest as much as anything.

    I love that yoga breastfeeding photo…beautiful.

  3. That’s adorable that your toddler climbs into your shirt! My 7-month old isn’t to that point yet, but she does wrap her little legs around my arm like a monkey. I wonder if I’ll be headed down a similar path.

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