If you’ve ever nursed a toddler…well, first off let me say ,good for both of you! If you’re a toddler nurser ,you know that it comes with it’s own set of humorous quirks.
There’s what I refer to as “Breastfeeding Acrobatics”, which conjures up images of a toddler getting a running start, somersaulting onto the boob and then doing a backflip off…. and really, that’s not too far from how it actually is sometimes. Toddlers are full of this boundless energy so it shouldn’t really be surprising that they can’t contain it long enough to have a nursey session.
There’s the Milk & Cookies nursing thing, in which toddler thinks a hit of breastmilk would go great with that cookie you gave him for a snack – except that he still has cookie bits in his mouth and that doesn’t work out so well.
All of my shirts currently are a size too big because my toddler insists on tucking himself entirely into my shirt when he has a sleepy nursing time. His legs go into my sleeves. His body, including head, get covered up with the rest. I will need all new shirts when I’m done nursing. I’m so thankful for thrift shops.
Recently, I started doing yoga again. Or at least, I tried doing yoga again. The act of quietly sitting in the middle of the floor with a nice,comfy mat was an open invitation for my toddler to come nurse. I actually attempted to let him continue while I stretched and twisted but it honestly wasn’t working. And I didn’t look nearly this good.
I also wasn’t naked, in case you were wondering.
Then there’s the love pinches and boob squeezes. Usually, I can look down at Sir Snugglemuffin and ask nicely, “Could you please not squeeze my boob like that?”. He’ll give me a dejected sigh or an annoyed growl and stop. More often, he’ll stop nursing and jump down off my lap entirely.
I was starting to think he was a little masochist but this video yesterday gives some great insight into what’s up with those toddler pokes and squeezes.
The other day, Sir Snugglemuffin was nursing on my lap. He was tucked into my shirt , which usually means he’s sleepy but unlike most times, he was very restless and “busy”. The boob poking was atrocious. I told him he had to stop. When I lfited up my shirt, I discovered he hadn’t been pinching at all. He was drawing on me. How he ninjad a pen nd a marker under my shirt with him is beyond me. Future tat artist, I’m telling you.
I originally had planned to just post this pic on Facebook , so that’s why it’s so croppped that you can’t even tell it’s a breast. I just wasn’t sure how much of my non-sexualized breast was “acceptable” to have on Facebook. Whatev.